zhermin ♥

I just have to stay and face my mistakes.

2012-02-16T17:14:00.002+08:00

Mood: Demoralized.
Music: Get It Right - Lea Michele
Music: Bye-bye - Mariah Carey

There are days when I don't like myself. Today's one of them.

The way you looked at me, the disapproval in your eyes. The way you remained silent. The really tensed up, scary aura.
I felt so useless and worthless.
I felt like a silly annoying brat.
I didn't feel like myself. I just felt like running away.
And I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be who you think I am.

Like it or not, you are a part of this family.
– Tramp, Lady and the Tramp II

"Your life used to be a comedy,
Now it's just a freaking nightmare..."

Will there be a day when someone actually takes me seriously?

Love,

I'm already out of foolproof ideas.

2012-02-14T22:14:00.001+08:00

Mood: :/
Music: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Music: Trouble is a Friend - Lenka

Ares won POP! #likeaboss :D

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Why does it feel like I cannot aptly express my thoughts. Talking to someone is becoming increasingly hard. Sometimes what I say don't even reflect what I feel. And I'm just saying it for the sake of doing so. The value and significance aren't there anymore. When I'm speaking, it feels like its someone else's voice. I can't even recognise my own voice.

There's a common misconception that people make rational choices. Turns out that it's often wrong. Like how I make super stupid choices. Choices that became responsibilities that I feel like running away from, but I know I can't, because what would that make me?

Mrs Tay asked me today whether or not I was fine. I don't know. I really don't know. But I really appreciate her care and concern.

Amidst all these, how do I know what other people think? How do I know how other people feel? How do I bloody know when sometimes they act all nice to you and the next moment, they just become so cold and hostile. How do I know? Because now, "We're all in this together" sounds so cliche and untrue. And why is it that again and again I have allowed people to invade my private space. I keep my distance from things that may be dear to you. Doesn't mean that you have the right to ransack through and criticise my stuff.

Emotionally, you're attached to them. But just for some reason, you're afraid to acknowledge that fact.

Hmm... perhaps what I heard today is true after all...

If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more.
- Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy

On a lighter note,

Happy Valentines Day! ♥
TKY is such a sweet darling (:

Love,

Never will we ever forget all the days we had in Hwachong :)

2012-02-11T08:43:00.001+08:00

Mood: FLY SO HIGH!
Music: Paradise - Coldplay
Music: Uncharted - Sara Bareilles

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

Words cannot describe how awesome campfire was last night. :D Went with the stringers and had a really great time with them! :) Felt like a J1 again, shouting "ARES! ARES! ARES!" at the top of our lungs. And shouting into each others' faces, "ATHENA!!" "ARTEMIS!!" "APOLLO!!" "AREEEEEES!!" Anyway, Ares class flag was so pretty! Apollo won class performance and war games, and Artemis won class flag. It's alright Ares, there's always POP! We're gonna win POP!!

SODACHE WAS SO FUN!! The human train is a classic must-do! And we did it so much that we all decided to stop running around and sing Destinations! :3 We did the cancan too! :D It's quite funny that while all the J1s were running around screaming, the strings J2s were singing their batch song. Their batch song is naise! :D

My voice sounds like rubbish now.

Thank you HCSE for making this such a memorable night (:

Love,

For a change.

2012-02-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

Mood: SO HAPPY I THINK I'LL START SPITTING RAINBOWS
Music: Hey Jude - The Beatles
Music: If We Hold On Together - Diana Ross
Music: Stuck Like Glue - Sugarland

Strings music never fails to make me happy (: And I'll be stuck in this happy bubble for the rest of the day after touching my viola (: But my happy bubble popped today as I was walking back from school. Sighs. Anyways attempt to play cello/bass today failed terribly. I'll just stick to viola/violin, so as to prevent other people's ears from bleeding.

We played really random pop pieces (as well as both school songs lol!). Like Hey Jude, Top of the World, Baby, Party Rock Anthem, We Are Young, Grenade (炸弹手榴弹!), Just the Way You Are, even 对面的女孩看过来! Quoting Xu Yue (from last year), "Everything sounds nice when played by strings!" No doubt about that ♥

Photo from Elissa (:

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It's gonna be 4 AWESOME DAYS with the strings peeps (:

Senior class meets junior class was not bad. I found out who my mortal is, he/she [shh... can't tell] seems like a nice person. Buddy whacko and Bang and 3 Points of Contact as forfeit haiyaya. I wonder who my Angel is. As far as I know, my angel is a 'he'. 1/7 probability haha! Anyway, my junior class is apparently made up of zai-kias. They all take Triple Science/BCMK/BCMK(H1E)/BCMG(German) etc. And I heard that they have already started mugging -.- Hope they have 2 enjoyable years in HwaChong (:

HBL tmr cus J1s are having war games! GO ARES!!

No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

When the lies fall away, what's left are broken trust and broken hearts. Again and again the same things happen to me. Once in January. Another one in February. Although this time it's just a trivial matter. Words cannot describe my frustration when I found out from Kai Lin. So no matter what I do next time, I'm gonna remember this: no lying, no empty promises. Because more than often, both parties lose.

*************************

I sincerely thank my classmates for ruining my life with this song.

Love,

I need your grace to remind me to find my own.

2012-02-06T15:46:00.001+08:00

Mood: Relieved
Music: Turning Tables - Adele
Music: I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, turning tables

Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior
When the thumb that cost me
Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet...

*************************

Take a deep breath and forget about all the bullshit that has happened previously, even the day before. The sun shines in your face as you inhale the smell of morning dew. Long gone are the dark clouds that loom over you. Just remember, it's all about perspectives.

I know that the night must end, and that the sun will rise...

The downside of whatever that has happened is, I had a complete loss of temper for a while. And I'm still pretty hotheaded for the time being. I thought my temper was getting better. That I don't get angry easily. Turns out I was wrong. And it's not doing me any good. I mean, why punish yourself for a mistake that someone else made?

That being said, I will learn from my mistakes and this time I'll come out the other side stronger and better, whatever it takes. I'll find my optimism back. This, I'm determined.

Shouting is therapeutic actually. Okay, at least for me.

Your life is a gift. Accept it. No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be. Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen. As if they were just meant to be.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally... Acceptance

Hello happiness, it's been a while (:

AND PAMPERING SELF WITH DOSES OF THIS:

He certainly looks godly from certain angles and sometimes he looks so pale he gives me chills. Anyways, it's a nice drawing of him.

*************************

Heehee this took me a while but it's so funny (:

Love,

#11

2012-02-04T15:45:00.000+08:00

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Mahatma Gandhi

I guess I just ain't strong enough.

Love,

Forever united here, so hell yeah!

2012-02-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Perfect - P!nk
Music: ABC - Jackson 5
Music: Survivor - Destiny's Child

HELLOOOO. Have been house-hopping (well, sorta) for CNY! (: And whee went back to NY to visit! (: Kinda miss JCRC a lot! Miss the canteen, the garden, and the basketball court. And no must-go-up-before-1030-rule. Remember when we used to lay on the basketball court looking at the stars and just talking till really late at night? Yeah I miss that. Anyway, let the photos do the talking!

HCHCHCHC!

And my super cool erdi - SHUYUIN! The juniors were playing volleyball when I appeared haha. And she came leaping and skipping to the canteen to meet me. Haha. She's the best (:

Gay daoooooooo

Anyway, a big 'thank you' goes out to Mr Kong and Mrs Kong for hosting us and for the yummy food. Not to mention all JCRC members for helping to prepare the food. I remember my hands smelling like Otah hehe. And yes, Samuel and Emmanuel sho cute! :3

There's nothing purer than a baby's carefree smile (:
Baby Emmanuel!

And Samuel! :D

Of course I met my super awesome (ex)roommie too (: Fabian said that both of us are like dating or something. Haha Fab's just jealous :P Dinner was awesome but XY and I had to leave early cus of GEL that night. But before we leave, GROUP PHOTO! (:

JCRC BC'10, who made history in NYGBS. With our very first 10th Anniversary Homecoming Day. And can't deny it, can't pretend, we're one of the funnest batch of JCRC (:

See you in August peeps (:

Love,

Gotta be green, gotta be mean. Gotta be everything more

2012-02-02T17:14:00.000+08:00

Music: Better Together - Jack Johnson
Music: You've Got A Friend In Me - Randy Newman
Music: Rumour Has It - Adele

Saw this somewhere, which is really meaningful and I should try to live up to this (:

1) 不要等到想要得到爱时才学会付出
2) 不要等到孤单时才想念起你的朋友
3) 不要等到有了职业时才去努力工作
4) 不要等到失败时才记起他人的忠告
5) 不要等到生病时才意识到生命脆弱
6) 不要等到分离时后悔没有珍惜感情
7) 不要等到有人赞赏你时才相信自己
8) 不要等到别人指出才知道自己错了
9) 不要等到腰缠万贯才准备帮助穷人
10) 不要等到临死时才发现现要热爱生活

Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem.
You rather cover up I rather let them be.

Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds
You made a fool out of me and, boy, you're bringing me down
You made my heart melt yet I'm cold to the core
But rumour has it, she ain't got your love anymore. /edited

Love,

I know it's kinda late

2012-02-01T20:58:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Daddy!♥
I miss you ):

Love,

Tangled in a cobweb of misunderstandings

2012-01-30T19:36:00.004+08:00

Mood: numbed
Music: Get It Right - Lea Michele
Music: The One That Got Away (Cover) - Alex Goot & Chad Sugg

WHY SO COMPLICATED.

Sometimes it seems as if everything's so blurred up, till drawing lines become so hard. I don't know why I'm still trying to help when I'm doing nothing but creating more trouble. A nightmare, that I have yet to wake up from. I fear that the more I do, the more mistakes I make. The more I say, the more damage I do. Okay fine so it's my fault, so what else do you want from me.

容忍的人其实并不笨，只是宁可对自己残忍...

I've been putting up with all this so that I don't hurt anyone else. And GUESS WHAT. It all backfired to me. Great. And almost everyday I get news telling me that the situation ain't what I think. It's actually worse than that. Right. Okay. I can live with that.

It's okay, you can go ahead and bitch about me. Not like you're not already talking behind my back. And seriously. For how long do you think you can keep those lies. If you only make empty promises, your words have no value at all. And now I just can't help but wonder, why did I ever trust you in the first place.

Now I know that I'm not all that you got.
I guess that I just thought maybe we could find a way to fall apart...

Sure, of course it's not your fault. I'm too stupid to not see all that's happening. I thought I knew you well enough to make a judgement but turns out all the while I've just been running in circles. I must have had stamps on my eyes or something. And from now onwards I'm gonna need toothpicks to prop my eyes open. Whoopee.

I'm done with you and your lies.

*************************

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

WHAI IS THIS SONG SHO ADDICTIVE.

Love,

Give me a second, I need to get my story straight.

2012-01-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: As Long As You're There - Charice
Music: We Are Young - Fun

New responsibility. Okay I shall, I will, I must (:
I can do this!! /Deep breaths

Sometimes it happens in an instance. We step up, we see a path forward. We see a path and we take it. Even when we have no idea where we're going.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU!
/Inspired by Glee (:

Tonight, we are young
So we'll set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun (:

The singer's voice has so so so much emotions, I can't even.

Just wondering, why to people cut themselves?
Is life so really unbearable that only physical pain can take away your emotional ones?

If you don't need me you should tell me right in the face. Don't wait 'til I hear it from somewhere else. Who do you think you are.

Love,

Truly blessed (with the cny spirit!)

2012-01-26T17:22:00.001+08:00

Mood: :')
Music: Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Music: I Feel Pretty / Unpretty - Glee

大年初一's family gathering is the main reason I look forward to CNY every year (: All cousins squeezing in that humble abode of mine :P Though I didn't get to play with sparklers/fireworks this year, I helped out in the kitchen the day before! I made jelly (and didn't add enough sugar D: ). But all is well, I didn't blow up the whole kitchen!

Anyway, reunion ~~dinners~~ lunches were pretty awesome. Good food as always (: 外婆 is amazing as usual! I wished I've eaten more haih. Steamboat with paternal family was eventful too! With the 6 '江哲's dominating the 'kids table'. Of course the food was awesome (: We Skyped with Cheryl and Feibien in Arizona. And had a virtual tour of their home there.

♥

Seeing our bunch of nephews and nieces, we were once again reminded that we are getting old! Haha. 15 years ago we were in their shoes now, running around shouting, and occasionally rejecting angpows because we didn't know what those were.

With my fun awesome bunch of cousins (:

Skyping with Cheryl and Oreo (her dog)!

Yean's going to Sydney in mid-Feb ): I'm gonna miss him. Best wishes for all your future endeavors and take care of yourself there okay (:
Hopefully I can visit Sydney after A's or something (:

CNY. Time for reunions. Time for happiness. Time for good food. Time to reminisce about good ol' memories, and create fonder ones too. Happy CNY to all (:

AND TWO DAYS OF CNY HOLIDAY IS DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH! You should see everyone's faces when I told them I'm going back on 初二 night. All the shocked "什么?!?!" faces. Sigh.

Last night there was PTT dinner at 海洋青. Tonight there's open house at 燮's house. What is this.

On the side note. I need to start getting used to boarding school asap if I don't wanna starve to death. Sheesh, appetite, wherefore art thou?!

Love,

When all words fail.

2012-01-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

Mood: :')
Music: It Will Rain - Bruno Mars
Music: We Owned the Night - Lady Antebellum
Music: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

I don't know what this feeling is. It's too hard to describe it. And I think I'm really stupid for not realising earlier, that I already have everything that a person could possibly ask for.

Looking back at last year. All the laughter, sweat, tears (of joy), blisters, late nights we've had. Not a single hint of regret surfaced in the heart. Instead, I feel grateful. Grateful that I have them.

Sitting with them under the stars, playing the guitar and just singing random songs.
I now remember how it feels like to sing my heart out.

Thank you. A lot, my small but warm family ♥

*************************

Love,

You just let it go, of everything you've been the most afraid of...

2012-01-18T23:27:00.001+08:00

Mood: Pensive
Music: Breaking Your Own Heart - Kelly Clarkson
Music: Trouble is a Friend - Lenka

Doesn't it feel weird, to look at a person who's the still the same ol' person that you know, but you just can't help but notice that little difference about that person. Still the same, yet something's different. And it sucks to think that perhaps everyone has a story or two that changes one inside, yet the external changes are so minute, that many a time you can't even detect this change.

I agree with Zhiyuan,
You see a person everyday, but you don't see the changes in them.
You see a person everyday, but you don't see the conflicts in them.
You see a person everyday, but you don't appreciate their existence until one day they're gone.
You wanna do something, but sometimes it's best that scars are let alone to be healed.

********************
It's scary how the songs I used to love and hum along to became songs that I'd go to great lengths to avoid. Perhaps that explains my inclination towards non-mainstream music.
Because they don't remind me of anything or anyone.

Trouble he will find you no matter where you go,
No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow,
The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn,
You're fine for a while but you start to lose control

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe,
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow,
He sees what I see and he knows what I know,
So don't forget as you ease on down the road

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, trouble is a friend of mine.

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, trouble is a friend of mine.

Love,

And you see me, somebody new

2012-01-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

Too charming :3

Love,

Bringing 'fun' back into life (:

2012-01-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: Secret - One Republic
Music: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Woke up early to celebrate Tuck's birthday. And yeah, a birthday song does sound weird if it is sung in tune :/ Nice cake nice company, what more can you ask for? :) My batchies are awesome!

And whee Ascom! Really fun bunch of people hehe (who procrastinate a lot). Haha well. TramAnh's polaroid cam. That bimbo's face when the film came out "YAY PRINCESS!!" /facepalm
And her classic 'Moon Sailor'. Being with them takes things off my mind for a while (: Which I'm grateful for. Thank you dears!

Kaha's non-existent eyes

And well that's the end of a happy day. Gonna finish up work and look forward to school tomorrow (:

It's really abnormal how everything seems so normal now...

Love,

Back to school!

2012-01-14T12:04:00.000+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Music: Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 (ft. Christina Aguilera)

That moment when I realise I could relate to every single line of that song, and only then I realised how bitter I was.

But the worst thing the truth can do? Is when you finally tell it, it doesn't set you free... but locks you away, forever.
- Gossip Girl

Okay I'm here with updates.

One week of school felt like a whole month of it ._. And it's not just me. After two days of school, I've heard people around me complaining how tiring schooling is. On the third day of school there's Open House :D Which meant (almost) a whole day of strings ♥ I am happy! And I played the violin for some pieces :P Just stop playing altogether at the V2 running notes for Explosive oops! Kept reading treble clef as alto clef :/

After Open House on Wednesday, there was a Math Test on Thursday! and Bio Test on Friday. On the first week of school. Welcome back to reality.

And on the side note, I shan't make promises if I cannot keep them.

Who cares if I'm deviating away from mainstream music, listening to oldies make me happy so be it (:

Slow it down, make it stop or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something I'm not
I'm a fool out of love 'cause I just can't get enough

The sun is hot in the sky just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs and synchronize in time
It's a joke nobody knows, they've got a ticket to the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show

edited
That happy feeling when you update your music playlist :D
And Dvorak Symphony 8 is really nice (Y)

Love,

HIMYMed :)

2012-01-08T20:47:00.003+08:00

From HIMYM Season 4 or 5 I can't remember :)

And yes, I just watched 8 episodes of HIMYM today. I request the highest of fives.

Love,

#10

2012-01-05T10:50:00.000+08:00

We all go through life like bulls in a china shop.
A chip here, a crack there.
Doing damage to ourselves, to other people.
The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done,
or that's been done to us.
Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise.
Sometimes we think we can fix the damage.
And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.

- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

NYR 2012: More music, less worries (:

This love.

2012-01-03T11:02:00.000+08:00

Mood: ♥
Music: Fireworks - Katy Perry
Music: The Show - Lenka

Outing with the girls yo! With Eu, Clara, Huan Lee and the birthday gal Sze Hwei 老大! Anyway destination: 老地方 - Gurney Plaza! So we had Sakae Sushi for lunch (: and we gave 老大 her birthday gift. She said she wanted to buy a water tumbler, so we asked her to open the gift. Eileen bought her this pink water tumbler ahead, so great gift indeed :P 老大's going to college tmr! Her first day (: feeling excited for her. I'm sure she'll have her own wonderful memories there, and I bet they're gonna be really special (because well she still looks like a kid) *cues memory of SH getting a haircut* :P

Laoda laoda i love you many many!!

And then, we watched this.

Because 老大 says so. Nuuu my Sherlock Holmes D:
The movie's pretty funny though. And non-realistic HAHA. But there's Fireworks (the song). #whydoeseverymoviethatiwatchhaveasongfrom14oct. PartyRockAnthem Chipmunk style! (;

After SH went home, we went to Tutti Frutti @ Island Plaza. Clara and HL knew the way, so I went with Huan Lee and Clara went with Eileen. It didn't really help that Clara mentioned HL was a reckless driver. And it didn't help either that HL pointed out the scratches in front of her car. But all is well, I survived. It was not too bad :P /wipessweat

Tutti Fruitti reminds me of Sogurt. Prices are comparable to that of Sogurt as well. Hehe all of us spammed chocolate toppings :D Hershey's chocolate shell ♥ omnomnom. Imo it's nicer than Sogurt.

老朋友 and 好朋友 ♥

We talked, about where we're going next and how's everyone. I miss being part of them I think. BOP stories made me miss my old school even more. Funny stories about what happened at school, and some gossip, and stuff. Wow, so 5 years passed by like that. Seems like yesterday we were 13-year-olds wearing that light blue pinafore. Marching test in February, my batch as the testers. Wow, time flies, doesn't it? (:

I wonder where I'll be amongst them if I stayed. Would I cherish them as much as I do now? Especially Clara, who we've known since we were 5. And where will the future take us?

If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die...

Love,

Best movies I've watched this year! :D

2011-12-31T15:51:00.000+08:00

Movies watched this year! I guess I've enjoyed most so yeap, here's the list! Might've left out a few though (:

1. In Time

Watched this with batchies and I think that the concept is pretty cool (: But kinda scary, if you're poor, because you live in this constant fear that you'll die anytime. Time isn't like money. You can save money, but you cannot save time. The clock's always ticking.

2. Thor

Watched with section! The story's pretty good, imo. But a tad cliche.

3. You Are the Apple of My Eye (那些年，我們一起追的女孩)

Based on Gidden Ko's book. Personally I thought the book was better, nevertheless the film still brought tears to my eyes (':

4. 3 Idiots (थ्री इडीयट्स)

Watched this today (the last day of 2011). Really meaningful movie - all is well! Reminds us once again that we should chase our own dreams instead of conforming to societal norms. Be true to your heart (:

5. New Year's Eve

Watched this with Eumiang♥. Truth be told I wanted to watch this badly because of Katherine Heigl :P but anyway, it's not too bad. And there's a lot (like A LOT) of familiar faces besides Katherine Heigl. Like Bon Jovi, Ludacris, Lea Michele from Glee, Zac Efron, Hilary Swank from PS I Love You etc. Okay, they have pretty touching parts that made me cry too.

6. Hello Ghost (헬로우 고스트)

You know what, touching is an understatement. It's about a man being able to see a family of ghosts after his multiple failed suicide attempts. They agreed to leave him alone after he fulfills their requests. Turns out this family is his own family members, who were killed in a car accident when going on a family trip. The man was the only survivor and the others died.

7. Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol

The movie's not bad! Just some parts look kinda fake. /Missionimpossiblethemestuckinhead

Others!

So, just. Happy New Year everyone (: All the best for 2012. 2011's gone (well a couple more hours, but still), don't live in the past, and remember to enjoy 2012 to the fullest! Last year in Hwach, gonna make the best out of it! :D

Love,

Freeze this moment.

2011-12-25T22:21:00.001+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: Nobody Knows - Tony Rich
Music: Giving Up - Ingrid Michaelson

You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be – white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming – they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

I watch cartoons then I'm catapulted back to the past. Looking at Nin and Yao playing their PSPs and Nintendo DS and talking to my other cousins during a family gathering at 三姑's place last night.

"When the grown-ups were playing mahjong in this room, we didn't even dare to enter!"
"Yeah, we always play Pop-pop and Iceman and hide-and-seek outside!"
"We didn't have PSPs you know! We only had Gameboy Colour, but when we come here we just run outside!"
"Perhaps that's why we were so thin last time you see!"

Ahh. Memories. I miss spending time with my cousins. Yes, playing Hide-and-Seek and Iceman. Or screaming, "Pepsi Cola! One! Two! Three!" at the top of our lungs. At before we went home, the parents would bring us stacks of tissues to wipe away out sweat. Those were the days. It's a whole new generation now I suppose. In my opinion, dad's generation was an interesting one. Our generation is an awesome one. Nin's generation is just full of electronic devices and more materialistic? I remember dad would bring back rubber tree seeds and make them into these little things that can turn. And I still don't know how it works, but it sure was exciting looking at the little thing pirouette.

My generation. Almost all of us are high school graduates now. Everyone's going everywhere now. Malaysia, Singapore, Australia, US... Gone were the exciting carefree days. Gone were the games we played. But these memories will always be with us, forever and always (:

All the best cousins, no matter where you are...

*************************

What if I fall further than you
What if you dream of somebody new
What if I never let you in
Chase you with a rolling pin
Well, what what if I do

'Cause I am giving up on making passes
And I am giving up on half empty glasses
And I am giving up on greener grasses
I'm giving up

Mind, stop playing tricks on me kthxbai.

Love,

Would you believe me, if I told you I'm a lot happier with you around?

Merry Christmas ☃

2011-12-25T00:52:00.001+08:00

✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋

✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋

Teehee (:

✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ✱ ✲ ✳ ✴ ✶ ✻ ✼ ✾ ❃ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋

Love,

More than words.

2011-12-22T22:28:00.002+08:00

Saying "I love you"
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew how easy
It would be to show me how you feel

Now but I've tried to talk to you
And make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close, don't ever let me go

More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying "I love you"

Love,

Everywhere I look I see green (:

2011-12-22T13:39:00.001+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: Auld Lang Syne - Lea Michele
Music: 半情歌 - 元若蓝

Had an awesome time in Cameron Highlands with family! (: I enjoyed the trip because of all the food we got to eat :P and I admit that there have been a handful of people who said that I've put on weight D: So time to eat in moderation. ~~until the upcoming Hatyai trip where I can eat more again~~

And thank you Pei Wen姐姐 for the awesome photos! Pretty DSLR!

Day one - Orchard/vegetable plantation/chrysanthemum plantation! (:
After lunch we went to godfather's friend's place! Uncle and aunty were really nice, we got to try a lot of really sweet fruits!

Oranges!

Then the ~~kids~~ teens stood at the back of Uncle's pickup truck and we went of to the chrysanthemum plantation! The ride was really exciting, as the truck went up and down the hill. It was a tad like a roller coaster ride :P The chrysanthemums there are amazing. There were purple, yellow, red and white flowers that are really very pretty!

Day 2 - Bee farm!
We didn't go down to the bee farm, actually. But we bought honey there! We went to the bee hive maze too! It was quite a new experience. Quite exciting actually (: Xuan's family and 奶奶 joined us there.

We wanted to go to Boh tea plantation then, but it wasn't open. We went to another tea farm, and we had ginger tea and some dessert while enjoying the good view and cool breeze (:

Day 3 - Boh Tea plantation!
Boh Tea farm is a must go! Though I feel that the tea and the dessert are overpriced :/ Nevertheless, good view and good tea (:

And of course, jump shots are a must! :D

So that's pretty much our 3D2N Cameron trip (:
Looking forward to going to Hatyai next week! :D

Love,

All good things come to an end

2011-12-14T21:05:00.001+08:00

Since 2010 is ending, I guess I'll write a post to sum up the whole year (: Basically, this year was a roller-coaster ride for me, especially emotionally. It was dull, but happy, I guess. But anyway, it was a well year spent I guess :D If only time could stop at those golden moments...

My year started (literally) in Batu Ferringhi, with my family and cousins. We were walking back to Eden Fairway from Golden Sands (I think). And we were stopping by this Ramli Burger stall, when people from the condo beside the road shouted "5! 4! 3! 2! 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!" After getting back to the unit, the kids camped in the living room while the adults slept in the rooms. The ~~kids~~ teens (aherm) played dai di, cheat and speed. And when Min Zhao, Xuan and I went to sleep, Min Hang, Sheng Zhan, Yin and Nin stayed awake playing Naruto on PS.

After that I made one of the biggest mistakes in the year - cutting my fringe HAHA. Okay I should have went to another shop or not cut it at all. But my fringe became real short, and it was... disturbing haha.

And school started late for the JC1s, so I went to KL with Yin :D I have a bunch of really lovable and charming nephews. And Paddington House of Pancakes! I heard there's one in Queensbay now, so yay! (:

Okay so starting the year proper! HCIBS! Well, of course it's really different compared to nanyang. In terms of policies, FOOD, and the environment. Basically, everything wasn't the same. But I soon grew to like this place as well (: Thinking back of all the retarded times spent with Bishy never fails to bring a smile to my face ♥

Batchies! We had our first outing in late January, whereby only a small number of us went. It was awkward at first, but many of them turned out to be people that are really important to me for this year. We went for bowling at West Mall and Pastamania after that (:

And then, there's orientation. Which I regret to say this, but frankly, it didn't mean much to me.

XinYung, Huong and I went back to NYGBS to look at the new batch of JCRC and my successor is Fabian (: She's really awesome (don't tell her I said that :P) and I believe that she has done a great job. And the rest of the batch joined us later to visit our ex-house tutor Mrs Ho (and her cute daughter Catherine, who was super obsessed over XinYung).

XinYung and HC and Fabian :D

Motherly XinYung (coughcoughcough) (:

Chinese New Year came next! I've always loved CNY, because I get to see my cousins. Reunion brunches and dinners and supper! This year was a tad different for me. I didn't play card games with the adults, but instead mum borrowed a chocolate fondue for us to play with (and satisfy my tummy yay) :D Another thing that made CNY different from me this year - alcohol. And I shall not elaborate more about that.

And met my new class! 11S70 is the bomb! Though there are some rough spots here and there. But wells, we're still a class (: and I'm looking forward (somewhat) to spending time with them again in 2012 (:

Not long after CNY, came back again for Khee Terh's Wedding (hence missing POP). Nevertheless, I had real fun, despite those killer heels -.-

Yean ♥

with Bro (:

And a couple days after that, it's Concertante @ Esplanade Recital Studio. My first concert with HCSE and it was great! Telemann Viola Concerto :D

Whoohoo awesome section :D

Towards the end of March holidays, we celebrated ZhenMay's 17. Cake fight lol + batch photo :D

Funny hair :/

I wonder what's Cheng Jun doing in this photo here ._.

ACS(I)BS Fame! The theme was cool and the performances were pretty awesome as well. But then, I guess what made Fame special for me was meeting up with friends :D

And who can ever forget SYF! Gold with Honours! :')

HCSE ♥

NYSE Violists ♥

And going to the 7 million condo Ö for strings STJ :D

Ishimura for S70 STJ after CSM. After playing badminton with Gui Xian. Kinda a memorable day for me, because it's the day I hurt my foot, causing this perma injury of mine. Which got worse after June hols :/ Nonetheless, Japanese food makes the world round 8)

Meeting friends (again) for HCIBS Invest (somewhat an equivalent to mid-year formal dinner in NY). Usually JCRC will only send 2 reps to join the invest, but this time round a lot of my juniors came. Fabian said the boarders' council pres actually said, "The more the merrier." So yeap!

Seniors, batchmates and Fabian, the only junior here.

L'arc-en-ciel! And that day was Be Yourself Day, which explains why Shalom was wearing her Cedar Uniform and Theodora was wearing her NY skirt. I remember we had really cool repertoire for this concert, which included Palladio, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Victory, and of course my favourite encore piece ever - Dr Mario Fever Theme (4 bars of random noises yo!)

Went to Pulau Tioman with family too! I can now proudly say that my family has gone to all major islands of West Malaysia lol (I think)! Yay, I've always loved island hopping. But thus far, my favourite island (apart from Penang) is still Redang (: Good memories there.

HAHA AND I GET TO MEET MY SUPERBLY OLD FRIENDS IN JUNE!! ♥♥♥
Really glad to see ~~Eumiang~~ Eileen, Kah Hoay and Sze Hwei (: Especially Eu, who has been giving me a lot of mental support this year, despite the distance between us and her very busy schedule due to spm and whatnot, and I am really really grateful to know that she'll always be there for me through ups and downs, thin and thick ♥

Ali and Fel's birthday was a smaller celebration (held in our cluster, so it was really late at night). With XinYung's angry bird addiction :P

My 第一次 Ö ... playing paintball! We played paintball as a class, because of GEMS. The attendance was a bit, uhm, pathetic, but it was a great experience for those who went :D

I cut my hair short too! After 2 years of keeping it long! I still miss it sometimes, but I guess it's a change for me. To leave the past behind, and leave things that don't matter. Had that hope to start afresh, start anew. Of course, it didn't work. But having short hair was still, refreshing (:

Mid-Autumn Festival in school was a bomb too! Had fun playing with sparklers and going around acting like retards. But it was fun, especially sodache! (:

Senior's farewell. Saying goodbye to the seniors. The steamboat was good :P Performance went smoothly and well, we had fun :)

And Ares Fac Outing: Masquered! Thank you Ben's Band! But it'll be the first and last time I sing in public with a band like this yeah (:

Athena Fac Outing: Retrospective! Kinda fun seeing all of them in suspenders and Terre's failed mohawk was just... epic.

Of course, no one can forget the really really taxing PW journey. From PI to GPP to EoM to Mini-trial to OP to InR. Just glad that it's over and hope we did well! *fingers crossed*

And who can ever forget, Laos 2011 (: Missing all the ngam lai lais and lor lai lais and the HTHTs. And my birthday away from home (again). But it's the second time I celebrated my birthday without Yin ): Too many photos to choose from ):

All in all, its a good year spent! And hope that next year will be better! (:

Love,

We'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne

2011-12-12T17:44:00.001+08:00

Mood: :)
Music: Auld Lang Syne - Lea Michele

Watched New Year's Eve with Eileen! First impression of the movie: it's so Valentine's Day. But still, it's a great watch! Quite interesting how people's lives collide. And the soundtrack ♥

Hopefully New Year's Eve this year will be a memorable one! Should be spending it either with girlfriends or family (: Before I die I shall spend one New Year's Eve in New York! Because the ball drop seems so... magical (:

It only happens once a year: New Year's Eve. It's a time when hopeless can be romantic, and a resolution can become a revelation. And when one night can change everything.

And thank you Eileen for the belated birthday present :) I love it! :D and the birthday meal. Thank you so much dear! ♥

Love,

Tonight.

2011-12-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

Hypothetically, there's a honeydew plantation. You're the farmer. Hypothetically the honeydews take 10 years to harvest. You know that, but you see your honeydews are looking just perfect. You harvest the first one you see and cut it open. It's still green inside.

Scenario 1
You unearth all the plants and start planting something else, say grapes.

- Scenario 1A
You learn from your mistakes, so you get beautiful ripe grapes.

- Scenario 1B
You stick to the same mistake and you just keep trying to plant new fruits, which you fail all the time, hoping one day you'll succeed.

Scenario 2
You continue caring for your honeydew plantation with much care, fertilizer, water and sunlight until the fruits ripen. At the perfect moment, you harvest the fruits and you enjoy eating them.

Scenario 3
You missed the perfect time to harvest it. When you opened up the fruits, you saw worms in it. But at least you know you tried your best, and you should move on to scenario 1A.

********************

How am I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright
Just not tonight
But someday

Oh, I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright
Just not tonight
But someday...

An extremely happening day! (:

2011-11-27T20:47:00.001+08:00

Mood: Tired is an understatement.
Music: Pretending - Glee cast
Music: Someone Like You - Adele

Heehee happening day, I have a life ^^

Morning started off with cycling with Theodora! Went to Sengkang at 7, and reached at 8. Used Sarah's bike because she's in Taiwan now. And of course, uncle had to help me adjust the bike seat cus I'm too short. Cycled pass Sengkang Riverside Park till Punggol, then stopped by Macs for breakfast then cycled back! About 2 hours. Good workout! The parks have nice view (: And fresh air! The view was like whoa. A completely different view in Singapore than I have never seen before!

Ride of the day (:

See the good view in the morning! The water's so peaceful! (:

Accomplishment: No I did not fall (Well, almost, but I didn't!). No I didn't fall into the water. And no I did not run over anyone :)

nice view and big bike!

After taking a shower ~~and proving how blur I am~~, Theodora and I took the shuttle bus to Changi to send Zher and Xin Yung off to Cambodia (in my case), and Theo went to send her section mate off. Zher's face when he saw me was pretty priceless. And their teacher talked to me, "I know you are Zhen May's good friend right?" and asked me when are the Vietnam people coming back. Then the two hobos walked around. And spazzed at this shop selling chocolates (duhh) (:

Then at night I went for dinner with Jia Wen and Irwin. Wanted to go withdraw money at Plaza Singapura before going back. And guess what? We saw Hebe there! With our very own eyes! There was a 签名会 or something, which was ending soon. She was promoting her new album "My Love". JW wanted to go kaypo haha so we stayed there and watch as people start snapping photos and stuff. Of course, my phone camera wasn't good enough, but whatever (: Lucky coincidence (: Well that was pretty much one of the many highlights of the day.

Her new album!!

I'm so tired now I'm gonna knock out in front of my comp anytime soon.

Love,

那些年，我們一起追的女孩

2011-11-22T19:31:00.011+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: 那些年 - 胡夏

座位前，座位後。男孩衣服背上開始出現藍色墨點。
一回頭，女孩的笑顏，讓男孩魂牽夢繫了好多年，羈絆了一生...

When the whole world was watching 《那些年，我們一起追的女孩》 on big screen, I spent 3 days reading 《那些年，我們一起追的女孩》 (like a boss). First time tearing after reading a book :')

總有一天我一定會追到你... 百分之一千萬一定會追到你。

I like 柯景騰's confidence. Although it's a pity that he likes 沈佳儀, and she likes him too, but they remain as friends only. Well, I guess you don't have to be together to be happy. As long as you indulge in the moment with those you care for, and enjoy their companionship to the fullest, I guess there are no regrets (: With every puzzle piece of memories you share, a beautiful story can be formed too.

人生本來就有很多事，是徒勞無功的啊。

Sometimes we do things that benefits us in no way. A simple deed just to make someone happy, for example. You just wanna see a treasured one being happy. Just like how 柯騰 passed 沈佳儀 his textbook, so that she won't be punished. He thought that it could win her heart. It did. They had a shot, but they missed it. Despite that, they still had a story to tell. 也許, 錯過也是一種美.

勝或負。全部或歸零。一百分的天堂人生或負一百分的地獄生活...

Taking risks (lol sounds like pw!). Sometimes it's all or nothing. You either be brave and take that step, and you find that the view from the other side is spectacular. Or, you lose everything. I guess that's why people don't cross the line. I mean, there's so much potential, but you rather stick to what you know now. You rather spend everyday knowing that everything's still going to be the same, than to take the risk. The risk of losing what you are used to, losing what you've always known.

不像考卷，所有複雜困難的問題都能得到一個解答，真實人生裡，有些事永遠也得不到答案。

Not knowing can be better than knowing (: It's better that you don't know something, and live life as it is, rather than knowing something, which will change everything. Knowing something changes your perspective, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Though change is the only constant, people don't like change. At least I don't like it. If things are good, things are fine, you're comfortable with everything in your life now, why break free from your comfort zone and change? 所以, 我寧可不要知道答案, 雖然自己很想很想知道 (:

也許在另外一個平行時空裡，我們是在一起的。

也許在另外一個平行時空裡，我們不曾相遇過。But still, I still think that you can be happy with a person and yet not want to be together with that person, right? And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You just wish that the person is safe and still in one piece. And happy. That's why 沈佳儀 was so mad when she found out 柯騰 organized that fighting competition. 柯騰啊，你難道不知道沈佳儀有多擔心你嗎?

當你真正很喜歡一個人的時候，原本認為自己絕對不會想去祝福她，
但當她站在他面前時，才知道原來自己是打從心底希望她是幸福的。

Quoting Eu, "柯景腾，如果那天你愿意听听沈佳宜的答案，或许婚礼上，站在沈佳宜旁的就是你。"
I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don't forget me, I beg. I remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead (: As long as the people you care for are happy, nothing else matters, really.

我想讓這個世界，因為有了我，而有一點點的不一樣。
而我的世界，不過就是，你的心。

又回到最初的起點
記憶中妳青澀的臉
我們終於來到了這一天
桌墊下的老照片
無數回憶連結
今天男孩要赴女孩最後的約

又回到最初的起點
呆呆地站在鏡子前
笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結
將頭髮梳成大人模樣
穿上一身帥氣西裝
等會兒見妳一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的時光
回到教室座位前後　故意討妳溫柔的罵
黑板上排列組合　妳捨得解開嗎
誰與誰坐他又愛著她

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想擁抱妳　擁抱錯過的勇氣
曾經想征服全世界
到最後回首才發現
這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想告訴妳　告訴妳我沒有忘記
那天晚上滿天星星
平行時空下的約定
再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳
緊緊抱著妳

Okay i need to go watch the movie like asap!

Love,

Rumour has it, someone like you (:

2011-11-21T21:50:00.005+08:00

Awesome beyond words. I love Amber Riley and Naya Rivera's voices! :D

On the side note, I'll start doing my homework when I get to Singapore on Wednesday. Hopefully.

And just so you know, I still don't give a damn about you and your life (:

Love,

Hakuna Matata

2011-11-20T11:02:00.002+08:00

I still wonder how Simba grew so fast. And how Timon and Pumba didn't age at all. Just saying.

Love,

Surrounded by lush greenery

2011-11-19T15:56:00.001+08:00

Mood: Drop dead tired.
Music: 梦醒时分 - 陳淑樺

One fine day... Dad decided to wake us up ~~early~~ late in the morning and...

I should have just stayed in bed. Or volunteer to accompany mum. So that I don't have to endure 2 hours of Chinese oldies that I don't know. Actually they're not really oldies. I was just shocked that my dad listens to F.I.R. And I don't know any of those songs. I only know one, and it's pretty much stuck in my head now ^

Enough said. Next up: Dad's dictionary!

1) Almost there

2) 平路

3) 不斜了

4) At least you're better than your mum

But well, the view up there was rather spectacular. Kinda worth it I guess. The funnest part throughout the whole journey (for me) was going downhill.

And Thai food for lunch, yumyum :) Okay I should probably go take a nap or something.

Love,

Sharps and flats

2011-11-17T13:05:00.001+08:00

Mood: Just like that (:
Music: Rhythm of Love - Plain White Tees
Music: Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John

Sitting in front of the piano, playing classical pieces (for once) (: Waltz in AЬ major let's go :D

Going to Georgetown after a long time is a different experience for me. Looked at the architecture in a different way I guess. Penang has narrow roads Ö And old old buildings. Like the shophouses and the Standard Chartered Bank. I think there was another photoshoot there.

I had a terrible day. We say it all the time; a fight with a boss, a stomach flu, traffic. That’s what we describe as terrible when nothing terrible is happening.

Listening to old songs with Zher Yin. My brother is hopeless.

And these Angry Bird plushies that Dad bought from China... I was throwing them at Yin just now (I secretly think he's a green pig) (: and I accidentally hit mum, who was sitting beside him. Mum suddenly took all 5 birds and started throwing them at me repeatedly ._. Playing Angry Birds in real life (Y)

Mummy!

Love,

I'm so lonely, you're not here with me. That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home

2011-11-16T11:08:00.001+08:00

Mood: Happy happy happy (:
Music: Next Plane Home - Daniel Powter
Music: If we Hold On Together - Diana Ross
Music: Better Together - Jack Johnson

Island Creamery with Theodora♥! And nutella ice cream's gonna be my next favourite flavour (: Apart from the chocolatey stuff and cookies n' cream and teh tarik! Printed photos and doodled on them. Pretty photos I like! (:

After walking back from KAP (haha!) Continued packing and moving boxes. Watched two episodes of How I Met Your Mother and whoohoo airport here we come! We left boarding school at 6.15pm, quite early considering our flight was at 11pm -.- All thanks to a bunch of awww ~~and crazy~~ people. Last dinner together before the holidays. Everyone'll will be ~~flying~~ going everywhere. Quiznos whoohoo first time eating and it's quite nice (: They have nice soup (: Just a piece of advice to batchies: don't lepak in airport next time. Esp if you don't have enough sleep. And if you might bump into people you don't wanna meet (;

Wanted to supper after reaching Penang (at 12.30am). Oh, the airport should stock up their vending machines, seriously. And have more 24hour restaurants. They only have ONE 24h restaurant which is Coffee Bean ._. We didn't go for supper cus mum and dad had work the next day ):

The next day (aka today): Char Koay Teow for breakfast! Grandma is awesome (:

Okay enough said. Gonna go watch tv ✌

Music is one of the best ways to enjoy the present. It’s not much fun to look forward to hearing music or to remember what a song sounded like last week, but music right now absorbs you and places you in the present moment.
- Sonnett Branche

Oh and went to Tupperware office with mum. She was running errands I was lepaking and admiring that cool tumbler that you can personalize. Whoohoo I'm getting one soon when the stocks are here. I'm getting the orange one yay happy me (:

And screwed fringe. But never mind I get to drink fresh coconut water yoohoo (: Happy me again (:

Dinner was Indian food but it's quite nice me thinks (:

That's Day 1 (: Orc this Sunday yay! Borrowed a laupok factory made viola. Hope it'll still sound okay. And I don't have a shoulder rest. Never mind, I get to play in a full orc again! :D

Love,

This.

2011-11-14T22:56:00.001+08:00

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come on crashing in like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you
Oh with half of my heart

I was made to believe I'd never somebody else
Made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came
Showing me another way and all that my love can bring

Your faith is strong but I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart

But I can't stop loving you with half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shot gun wedding
To a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man
Who's never truly loved anything

Love,

11/11/11 11:11

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

Sudden influx of tweets...

At that moment, I closed my eyes, and put my hands together, and I made a wish.
I wished and wished, for the impossible. But of course, it never came true.

Happy 11.11.11 11:11 everyone! (There's another one tonight! :D)

********************

So far my 11/11/11 sucked. But I guess I made someone happy, although she's not exactly someone that I'm in good terms with. But still. I guess if I'm not being happy today, I still should give someone a chance to be happy. After all a small action does go a long way (:

Love,

PW's over! (And I'm still in one piece!)

2011-11-10T16:59:00.001+08:00

Mood: Relieved.
Music: Pretending - Glee
Music: Rolling in the Deep - Adele
Music: Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

So had oral presentation this morning. The Q&A part was alright. I think my group did fine. And the teachers were nice. They were nodding throughout, giving encouraging smiles and stuff. So I guess my group will be fine :D

Shi Yan, Wan Xin, Chek Han and You Wei:
Thanks for everything really. Thanks for putting in so much effort, be it GPP, WR, EoM, I&R or OP. Thanks for bearing with all my nonsense sometimes. And thanks for the past two weeks when we were chionging OP slides and WR like mad. And I'm really glad that I have you guys as group mates (: We know we've put in a lot of effort, and so many PW lessons squeezing out brain juice for ideas. Especially the conflict! Oh gosh, we've came a long way, and we'll do fine okay! Now! Time to slack ;D

********************

Celebrated birthdays again last night! This time round the birthday kids: BeiShi, ZherYin, ZherMin and Vivian! (: Thanks guys for the delicious cake. And gay handphone pouch (; It's really cute. And the card! Thanks guys ♥

To the 5 of you! Another year has passed by yeah. And I am really glad that we're still holding on together :D Love love love you guys x123194239542934180198243! We'll survive another year together kay! Next year's the last year ): But still, we'll make it a superduperwhooper awesome one kay! ♥♥♥♥♥

Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. Courage is what counts.
- Winston Churchill

Love,

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right.

2011-11-09T09:59:00.000+08:00

Mood: Pensive
Music: Unpretty - Glee
Music: On My Own - Les Miserables
Music: Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

How's life?

Good
1. Slacking everyday
2. Having fun with friends everyday
3. Movies movies movies
4. I'm going home :D

Not so good
1. OP TMR!!!
2. All the insecurity
3. Bruise. Ouch
4. More 'ouch'es
5. Unhealthy lifestyle
6. Wasting too much money

So quantitatively life isn't good. Nah, I'm still gonna enjoy it while I can. Despite all the weird things going around. Despite all the insecurity that's already killing me inside. Nah, life's good. I'm good (: 1 more day to OP and PW will be overrrrr (: and 6 more days to home ♥

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who’s inside there? The one with the long hair
Same old me again today

Never insecure until I met you, now I’m being stupid
I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you and then I’ll get back to me

My outsides are cool, my insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through, it’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways but it’s all the same
At the end of the day I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that mac can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty...

Perhaps I should start keeping some things to myself. Let those special memories be engraved in my heart only. Some things are not meant to be shared. As selfish as it may sound...

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Love,

I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me

2011-11-08T09:16:00.001+08:00

Mood: Confused
Music: What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction
Music: Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
Music: Happy Ending - Mika

Where did all my optimism go? Surely it just can't disappear overnight when I'm sleeping or something. Hopefully I didn't just lose all of it because my dreams are so out-of-reach. That's why it's called a dream not a goal haha.

COME ON POSITIVITY! 2 days to OP!!

Oh and side note. Going to KL for a week or so. Yay kinda looking forward to it. Especially the repertoire. Hopefully we don't play the same old pieces again (Farandole, Jupiter, Waltz of the Flowers, Great Gate of Kiev and Hopak etc.) Despite these pieces being nice. Year end camp! 1812 :D No cannons though ):

AHHH MIKA (:

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending.
This is the way that we love, like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life, but not together.

Love,

Play the music low and sway to the rhythm of love

2011-11-07T10:55:00.000+08:00

Love,

Broken Strings

2011-11-03T17:31:00.001+08:00

I wonder which is worse – physical pain or emotional pain? Physical discomfort or emotional discomfort?

I guess physical pain is relatively shorter than emotional pain. Regardless, I need you to know this – I’m sorry. I really am. I see the need to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. But does it even matter anymore? No use crying over spilled milk. So do I just leave things as it is? I don’t want to reopen that scar of yours again. I don’t know. What’s the use of niceties and manners, when it still leads to someone being hurt?

Time can only move forwards, whilst our minds move backwards. Looking at the past thinking that it was all a mistake and laughing (for the lack of a better word) at myself for being a fool. Well, that was really a big hole in my life that I really hoped I haven’t dug and I have no idea how to patch it up.

I guess I hope you see this. I sincerely, sincerely hope that life treats you well. And maybe you don’t believe me, but I really really am sorry.

********************
My Viola G String snapped ): And the skin on my fingers is flaking. CCA please resume asap! ):

Strings ♥

Love,

Solitude

2011-11-02T19:07:00.001+08:00

At the end of the day being alone isn't too bad a feeling after all. An escape from attention-seeking people. An escape from shouts and screams. An escape from people who care for themselves only, without even caring about what other people are thinking/feeling.

Smart individualistic people.

I'm not saying that you should always care about what others think of you. I'm just saying that you ought to be a little more sensitive sometimes. And I regret to say this, but my respect for you just vanished overnight.

Signing off with a massive headache,

Part of Your World

2011-11-01T23:11:00.001+08:00

Music: Collide - Howie Day

We said, regardless of distance, regardless of time, we'll have each other. I know, but I just can't help feeling so distant from your world...

Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the stars refuse to shine;
Out of the back you fall in time, I somehow find you and I collide...

Love,

Fragmented thoughts

2011-10-30T08:49:00.001+08:00

The feeling when you wanna console someone, but decided against it, because you've let that person down before. And I am not in a position to say anything now.

Happened twice in a month now. What is this.

********************

And I just saw something that would usually piss me off. Call me a sadist, but this time round I couldn't help but laugh. I mean, some people are so optimistic and so full of hope it's a bit funny. Okay this is really bad. I should stop laughing. Now I sound like a madwoman.

But one day when the delusional bubble pops, what happens next?

********************

Do you realize that you can know facts about a person, yet not know the person at all? Like you can know their birthday, fave colours, siblings, fave songs, fave food etc, but you still don't know what's going on in their heads. And since change is the only constant, everything's changing as well so perhaps you might not even know the person at all. Just saying.

********************

And I don't want this year to end. I've been having so much fun and next year I'm afraid that things won't be the same anymore, like we'd have to dedicate more time to academics and stuff. And everyone will be busy and I don't know. I don't want this year to end. Last week of school to go! Cherish it, although it's a week of PW ahead -.-

********************

And thank you my friends, for letting me laugh at my own silly mistakes and take things easier (:

Love,

#10

2011-10-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

Mood: Really annoyed.
Music: Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Music: 好心分手 - 卢巧音 & 王力宏
Music: Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce

Sometimes things are inevitable. Maybe we can't avoid it from happening. We pray as hard as we can that it doesn't happen. We try our best to prevent it from happening. We hope for the best. But sadly, it still happens sometimes. We start blaming everything: the wrong time, wrong place, wrong person, wrong thing to do, wrong word to say.

Blaming, isn't it tiring? What about the simpler option, to just move on? Stop clinging to the past and move on.

Don't forget that when you're stubbornly clinging to the past, you're not only hurting yourself. Sometimes you're also disrupting others' lives, aren't you? I'm not saying that I'm right, or that you're wrong. I admit that I've been in the wrong, but point is, I'm saying that you should put your effort to better use.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young - you should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing

******************

5 years. I guess I wasn't mentally prepared to see photos of my friends graduating. 5 years gone. Time passes so slow yet so fast.

Love,

And I know someday that it'll all turn out

2011-10-26T10:40:00.001+08:00

Mood: Contented (:
Music: O Sole Mio - Il Volo
Music: Glad You Came - The Wanted
Music: Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Bublé

‎

Most people back away when they get that nervous, uncomfortable feeling. But that feeling signals you’re doing something that matters to you. Embrace the feeling. Lean into the discomfort. Try to understand what the feeling is telling you.
- Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty

The sun goes down, the stars come out. And all that counts is here and now (:

Words cannot describe what happened last night. It was amazing, yet with a tinge of sadness.

孤单，是一个人的狂欢；
狂欢，是一群人的孤单。

Nevertheless, I love my really supportive classmates (: Performed with Shalom, Wei Shan and Ben for Masquered. We're called "Ben's Band" lololol! We sang If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys and we did a cover of Sara Bareilles' cover of Beyonce's Single Ladies, and it was alright, I suppose? Waiting for Shalom to upload photos and the video of the perf. Screwed up a bit of the keyboard part of Single Ladies. And oh that damned microphone.

Zher Min, Shalom, Ben and Wei Shan (after dry run, before the real thing).

And Ben's Band right before our performance!
Really love Ben's spastic face here :D

Thank you Theodora for taking all the pretty photos! ♥

My awesome classmates!
(In decreasing height order) Shalom, Theodora, Elena, Wan Xin, Zher Min and Priscilla!

My HTC and GST! ♥♥

Joy! :D

twinnie twinnie twinnie! ♥

Cheng Jun, Tuck Ging, Zher Min and Zhen May! :)

11S70 ♥

Had really wonderful albeit unglam moments last night. Thank you, my friends who have a really weird sense of humour. But I guess that's how we function (: Great job, fac comm! A-A-A-Ares!!

O sole, O sole mio
sta 'nfronte a te!
sta 'nfronte a te...

Love,

My universe will never the same, I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came...

Let the past be the past and never brought to mind.

2011-10-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

Mood: Okayish.
Music: If I Let You Go - Westlife

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life...

We'll be alright, won't we? We always were and we'll always be (:
I guess I'll always need you, as much as I hate admitting it.

Hand me the world on a silver platter and what good will it be?

And. I'll be alright. I always were and I'll always be. Its just, I needed to release some frustration. Quoting a friend, "Humans are not machines. We have emotions." And now that's off my checklist, I'm back to normal, I guess. Or am I. There's just so little things happening on the surface, but deep underneath who knows what everyone's thinking? It may be a war zone inside. I don't know. Still, I always look forward to Sunday dinners. A nice chat with friends, a lot of suanning and a good meal. Who doesn't like Sunday evenings? (Apart from the fact that there's school the next day). Just remembered that my classmates were saying that Sunday is family day :/

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.
- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

On a random note, powerpoint does wonders :D

Love,

What the hell are you trying to do.

2011-10-22T18:07:00.000+08:00

Mood: Annoyed.
Music: Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
Music: 七里香 - 周杰伦

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire.
- Aristotle

I'm curious. What is it that you're trying to do? Make me feel guilty? That my choice is the "wrong decision"? My decision was, is, and is still going to be final. So please, no matter what is it that you're doing now, I'm not going to turn back and pretend that nothing happened. I'm not going to turn back and pretend that everything's still the same, because it really isn't. It's a two way thing. And you don't just pounce onto someone else's life as and when you wish.

Please just respect my decision, will you? Because I'm enjoying my life here now. Because I don't want things to change. I don't wanna go back to those days whereby insecurity was a constant feeling. Please, stop pricking my happy bubble because it's intact now. Fragile, but still intact. I guess I'm a tad selfish because I'm not considering how you feel but I'm really sorry, I can't bring myself to do it. Respect my choice, that's all I ask of you.

Sometimes humans are so confusing at times, aren't they?

Love,

Why do we take one step forward, and two steps back?

Imagine...

2011-10-21T10:40:00.002+08:00

You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I am not the only one.
I hope someday you will join us, and the world will be as one...

Love,

Back Into the Danger Zone

2011-10-19T13:36:00.000+08:00

Mood: Confused.
Music: Every Day I Love You - Boyzone
Music: If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

Now I know why I just keep turning back to the danger zone. Theodora's probably gonna call me crazy or something, but I kinda understand how Shalom feels now. The pain is felt, but at least you know you're still human, cus you're still feeling something.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Just remembered what my primary school Malay language teacher (jokingly) told us:
Once bitten, twice shy.
Twice bitten, never try.
Thrice bitten, you better die.

Yes, at first it was funny. The second time it was just ridiculous. The third time, I just felt like strangling you. Do you not have any common sense at all? Or are you just blind?

Anyway, why do I dislike letting people know what I'm feeling. Except for anger. This facade... it's tiring. And sometimes when you speak what you genuinely feel, people just think that you're emo and/or suicidal. Which obviously I'm not. And for the record, I didn't slash my wrist. Accidentally touched the pot while eating steamboat -.-

Always look on the bright side of life; always look on the right side of life.

Perhaps for now its time to focus on OP and other more important stuff. The past is the past, and I can't do anything to change it. But promise me this, Zher Min, this is the last time you'll allow yourself to sink. You can always fall, and get up again. But don't sink, because you might not have the energy to swim against the currents. And drowning becomes a possibility. Remember how this feels like. Don't repeat the same mistake again, because it just ain't worth it.

Love,

Thank you, for changing my perspective...

As we go on we'll remember all the times we had together

2011-10-15T09:53:00.003+08:00

Mood: Happy, and relieved (:
Music: Try - Asher Book
Music: If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland (ft. Katy Perry)

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

It's funny how the flame might already be dying, but after a while, after a series of events, the flame rekindles again. That's why my love for music never dies I guess. Cliche, but music really is the road that leads me home. I feel really accomplished and happy last night when the seniors were singing along, we're enjoying, they're enjoying too. And the thing about happiness is that it's contagious and it gives you this lightheaded feeling for the entire day. Or for the next few days even. Prepare to just keep smiling/laughing like a retard.

So! What happened last night :O
Farewell party for the J2 Scholars (: Cheng Jun was the organizer and he needed performers, so...

Bishy! ♥

Emcees Mengyao and Cheng Jun!

Melissa and Bish :D

Zher Yin and Tuck (with his drumsticks)!

Our first item was a Disney medley haha. Started off with Circle of Life (only the beginning), then On My Way, followed by You'll Be In My Heart, Colours of the Wind and ended off with Under the Sea

Steamboat for dinner!

Everybody eat now!

Seniors Soo Chin and Xiang Chuin!

Was really relieved when Xiang Chuin said that she enjoyed what we played. And "Why didn't you all play Part of Your World?". Haha I guess in everyone's heart, there's this little Disney fantasy yeah? (:

Bei Shi and Metta

My really really fun bunch of seniors! :D

Will miss Xiang Chuin so much...

Suanne, my pcghs senior!

Katrina and Suanne

Strings senior Yunqi

Li Qi and Xiang Chuin!
(Xiang Chuin's punching Bish cus we refuse to have JTS) :P

And not to forget... the awesome bunch!

Cheng Jun, Zher Yin, Bei Shi, Melissa, Tuck Ging, Zher Min!

Brother! :D

Thanks everyone for working so hard (esp Cheng Jun and the hall-reps). The farewell party wouldn't be a success with you! And thanks for giving us a chance to play like that. It was fun! Well, most of it. And sorry for the hectic practices for the past few days... Thanks for everything!

As our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever...

Music is the universal language of mankind.
- Henry W. Longfellow

Love,

When I was just about to turn away, my heart takes a U-turn and drives back to the danger zone...

#9

2011-10-11T10:51:00.001+08:00

Mood: Blank.
Music: Cry on My Shoulder - Deutschland sucht den Superstar
Music: 笑忘歌 - 五月天

I hate the fact that I can't stay mad at someone for long.

But on the other hand, being angry is like punishing yourself for someone else's mistake. Well, something that was taught by the person I'm (supposed to be) pissed at now. Am I really mad at her? Or I'm just mad at my own inability to talk to her.

He who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once
– Robert Browning

That being said, I've decided to keep to my promise. No matter how small it is, it's still a promise.

Another thing that's been bothering me is that I've stopped making plans altogether. I used to be able to remember every single detail about what's coming up next and what I'm going to do the next week. Now... I just cancel my plans like 30 minutes before I step out of the room, or when I wake up, I just don't feel like doing it anymore. It may be something that I've been looking forward to for a long time. Then out of the blue, this disgusted feeling just punches me in the gut, leaving me retreating in bed doing nothing for the rest of the day. Or another hypothesis of mine is that I just cannot confirm the plans I'm making with other people and then I just don't bother following up anymore. How I wish the latter is the true, but part of me realizes that the former is more probable. But the thing is, what is causing me to have that extremely messed up feeling? I don't know.

Or maybe I know, but I just refuse to admit it.

Just. No matter what happens, I will and I must enjoy this Friday (: It's the first time I'm playing music with them (with the exception of Melissa), and it might be the last as well. And chances like these don't come easy. I'll have to promise myself not to lose the passion in things that I enjoy doing.

Yet another milestone.

After that only I'll decide where do I go from there. Besides, I'll just be where the wind takes me (: But just for now, forgetting seems to be the best option. Letting go of the past. Enjoying the present. Embracing the future. As easy as it may sound.

The first step? Setting my priorities and ambitions right.

A goal without a plan is just a wish.
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery

AND I just received news from mum - Dad's coming over this Sunday till the following Friday! ♥

***********************

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Love,

It's over - oh what fun.

2011-10-10T11:37:00.001+08:00

Mood: Sick and tired.
Music: On My Way - Phil Collins
Music: When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

1. Farewell performance
2. Fac outing performance
3. Project work
4. SBO
5. OCIP stuff
6. Dip outing
7. Meeting friends
8. Ascom, orientation and stuff

Oh, a fun filled and joyful week/October ahead.

It’s tough out there in the big world all alone, isn’t it?
– Django, Ratatouille

It's the time when I'm perpetually in a bad mood (again). Who knows why. Things keep popping up. I can't seem to just sit there and just clear my mind. I'm so bothered by things happening around me. And all the social commitments. Perhaps next time I shouldn't even make promises. It's easier that way, ain't it? But being selfish isn't exactly the best solution after all, is it?

Does caring come with a price?

What is the right or wrong thing to do now? What takes priority? And who determines what your priorities are? People say that you are the one leading your life and that whole load of bull. But ultimately your decision is still affected by others. You're still tied down to other commitments. And sometimes people just don't get that. They just expect you to do what they think is correct.

Just for once, can you let me decide what to do.
Just for once, can you trust me that I don't want any of this any more than you do.
Just for once, can you LISTEN to me, not just hear what I say.

Because things are not as simple. Okay, actually things are fairly simple, you just don't bother to register them. You just don't bother to let me make a choice. And the point is you've already decided what to do.

So why even bother asking me? Not like my voice will make a difference.

Our lives improve only when we take chances... and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
– Walter Anderson

Love,

Promos drove us nuts! (But it's over now!)

2011-10-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

Mood: Relieved.
Music: When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating
Music: Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Music: Turning Tables - Adele

Promos are finally over! Guess I'm rather relieved now. And finally can take some time off and PLAY! In fact, there's class chalet at ecp tomorrow and there's bbq too! Can't wait :D Went for lunch with Theo Elena Priscilla and Wan Xin at Swensen's at Ion because there was a one-for-one promotion (: One day I will go for their dessert buffet! The chocolate fountain and cheesecake and ice-cream and gelato just look awfully tempting ~~and fattening~~ (:

Anyways, some pre-Promos photos!

(Supposedly) Mugging with ZhenMay @ C5R Study Room

Bish ♥

Because Xin Yung wasn't there,
Felicia, Bei Shi and I changed our target to poor Zhen May!

One day before math - Bei Shi's GC *error*

"Never allow someone to be your priority
while allowing yourself to be their option."

Somehow I can relate to this. And it's not exactly a good thing, me thinks.

Just now when I wasn't doing anything - just staring at the Facebook homepage, my fingers just typed your name at the search box. Just instinctively. I wanna talk to you badly, but I don't know where I can find you. I wanna talk to you but I don't know where to begin. I wanna talk to you but maybe you're busy and I'll just be distracting you. Just hoping that, amidst all the busyness of life, please don't forget to remember me.

Love,

Why am I so afraid of losing you when you were never mine to start with...

When all words fail, music speaks (:

2011-10-05T13:36:00.002+08:00

Mood: Pensive.
Music: Je Crois en Toi - Il Divo
Music: Blackbird - the Beatles

Lonely, the path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don't you know? Don't let go, be strong...

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe, I believe, I believe in you.

***********************
On the side note, on one hand I really wanna believe what my instincts tell me. But on the other, I feel like I'm losing hope. I guess I can't forgive myself for making that grave mistake. And now things are getting awkward. Most importantly, at the end of the day, I don't wanna lose a friend.

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.
- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

Love,

Whatever you're thinking won't change my decision: I'm not telling you how I feel...

#8

2011-10-02T08:52:00.000+08:00

Post-promos to-do list:

1. Food hunting!
2. Catch up on sleep!
3. Pick up a new instrument (I wanted to learn how to play a wind instrument, but I've decided to pick up the ukulele!)
4. Learn guitar from Shalom
5. Go to the beach.
6. Grey's Anatomy, House, Glee, Big Bang Theory, maybe Gossip Girl?

4 more papers. 5 more days. I can do this!

Love,

MAF! ♥

2011-09-12T18:25:00.010+08:00

Last post before I go on hiatus (;

Mood: :')
Music: Superman - Five For Fighting
Music: One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey
Music: Say Hello to Goodbye - Shontelle

Imperfectness.

So what? That doesn't mean that she's not my friend anymore. If there's anything that I've learnt from all this, it is that if I really do take her as a friend, if I really care, I should ignore her minute mistakes and the times when she's being annoying. Who am I to say anything, since I'm not perfect as well? No one's perfect, actually. I will still treat her the same old way. Nothing's gonna change. I'm still going to be there for her. Even if she might not need me. I'll be there.

Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?

**********

Mid Autumn Festival away from home is always different. This year the MAF celebration in school was really awesome! :D Love my classmates, girlfriends, CCA mates and seniors and batchies :D Kinda nostalgic but I got to play with lanterns (thank you seniors!) and sparklers :DD The night was perfect (: Wouldn't have done anything to change it, especially the later part of MAF... after Sodache and all (: Danced with ZhenMay and sang with awesome CCA peeps. Seniors started a train and we begin running around central plaza. It was fun and magical (: The lanterns were breathtaking and I was glad I went for MAF (; Great job, council! Proud of you Shi Yan! :D

Theo and Lom! ♥

May ♥

Ben, Lom, me, Theo and Shersher!I really like this photo cus actually all of us were tiptoeing and as usual, I'm sandwiched between the two tallest girls in class (自找麻烦), I'm still the shortest but never mind. And I love Ben's oh-so-spastic face! :D 11S70 is awesome or AWESMAZING, as ben would have put it (;

I'll remember the sweet little moments that made my day... (:

Love,

Indulge in the moment. Don't hope for too much. Don't worry. Just indulge in it...

#7

2011-09-08T23:20:00.005+08:00

Mood: (':
Music: W-H-Y - Lee Hom

I cannot think of post titles nowadays... and hence the numbers.

Anyway, back in sunny Singapore! Feeling aye-okay right now, but waiting for the moment to crash again. Or do I even have the time to crash this time round? With promos just around the corner I doubt I even have the time to enjoy life :/

I guess I need to stop looking back because as much as I want it to, time will never rewind. And it's not really helping that I'm constantly seeing things that make me feel nostalgic. Like these biscuits that we had during National Day celebration in NY last week.And all the old songs that I found. The songs that I used to listen to in mum's car. And songs that I used to listen to when I used to draw. Now I have no idea when was the last time I picked up a paintbrush. And like how I found that little black book that my friends and seniors from pcghs wrote notes for me before I left. I really don't want to admit it, but I used to enjoy life so much more last time, compared to now... Hope I can enjoy after promos! Going on a monetary diet soon because Theodora and I are planning to go food hunting after promos! I cannot wait ;D

On a lighter note, a lady asked ZM and I for directions to the swimming pool just now. I had to think for 3 seconds before I could blurt out the words "巴士站". So disappointed!

Oh! And Oasis is almost done now! Actually our unit is already done! Only the main block left! It'll probably be done next year! So excited :D And in December we're probably staying over at Batu Ferrenghi after Zher and I come back from our respective OCIP trips! This year-end-hols will be an awesome one! I guess we're going to attend orc camp and concert in Penang as well! They're playing 1812 and Mr Woon said the camp will be conducted by professionals so I'm really looking forward to it! :D And mum promised to get me a new viola case ♥ One month left till the end of promos.

Till then, keep calm and mug on ;D

Love,

Anyway *edited* nice quote :D

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost...

Epiphany.

2011-08-30T10:13:00.003+08:00

Mood: (':
Music: King of Anything - Sara Bareilles

Last few weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster for me. I've been full of angst, down and happy at the same time, till I don't know what I was feeling already. But if you ask me, did I learn anything at all from this? Yeah, I did. I realise that it's impossible to make everyone happy. There'll still be people who wouldn't agree with you and stuff. And whether or not you succeed, the determinant is actually whether or not you're able to overcome this stage. And whether or not you believe that you can go pass this stage.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. The last leap of faith.

"It is what we're capable of that frightens me."
-Queen Amidala, Clone Wars

Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to voice out what is in my head. Do you think I don't blame myself for what has happened? After all, she's (the equivalent of) my sister. As much as I don't like her keeping secrets behind my back, I realise that this is not about me anymore. It's about her and her future. So... I really don't know what will happen next. Perhaps only time can tell.

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide.

Love,

At that moment, I'm sure that I don't wanna lose you...

#6

2011-08-29T22:19:00.002+08:00

虽然会舍不得，有些东西要学会放开...
既然决定了，就不能回头。倒数: 6天 (:

Countdown!

2011-08-27T16:28:00.005+08:00

Tell me why I get distracted so easily. Meh I need to stop procrastinating, this is really really bad. I really need to start studying asap, because I foresee that September holidays would be a super slack one, since I'm going home :/ Anyway! One more proper school day left in the term! Happy but sad at the same time because time's passing super quickly, reminding me that promos are coming really really soon. Okay, 'nuff said. I should stop slacking and go mug.

Love,

You'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more...

#5

2011-08-21T23:04:00.002+08:00

Mood: ):
Music: You'll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins

Stupid girl. You were the one looking for trouble and now everything's backfiring at you. Stop trying to blame it on other people. It's all your own fault for being so reckless.

1, stop blaming her; it's not her fault. She did nothing wrong. You are the stupid one who thinks that her world is perfect. Her world is NOT perfect. YOUR world is. Be grateful for what you have. Don't try to be someone that you're not.

2, stop thinking of the past, you're NOT going to go back to whatever lalaland you used to be in. Stop thinking that you're important in other people's hearts. You might just be a passerby to them. And STOP thinking that you're THAT important. You're nowhere near important.

3, stop waiting for the reply that wouldn't come so soon. Stop thinking that everyone would return you the favour. Stop thinking that how you treat others would be the way how people treat you. Stop thinking that people could care a little more, because it really doesn't matter. Save yourself from all the misery and heartbreak. Seriously.

Stupid girl, please don't cling onto the things that you can never have. Let go, of the past, the present. Stop believing in fairytales.

Trying to 'indulge' myself in work so that I don't have to think so much. But then, nothing's going into my brain, so yeah. I think I'm pretty much doomed.

You'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart...

There's a hero in everybody's heart :)

2011-08-20T19:24:00.002+08:00

The song that made me tear when I first heard it :)

There's a flower in the smallest garden
Reaching for the light
There's a candle in the darkest corner
Conquering the night
There is amazing strength in a willing hand
There are victories
That you've never planned
There's a hero in everybody's heart

There's a fire inside of everybody
Burning clear and bright
There's a power in the faintest heartbeat
That cannot be denied
Go on and trust yourself
Cause you can ride the wind
You're gonna take your dreams
Where they've never been
There's a hero in everybody's heart...

Love,

Regaining the passion (hopefully)

2011-08-18T17:06:00.007+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Go the Distance - Hercules

I wouldn't say that ascom meetings are exactly very fun, but it's undeniable that I'm growing closer to my fellow comm members (; Sharing lame jokes and camwhoring and mugging together - I'm starting to look forward to meetings! I still miss the old (sec school) comm members but I realize that this new comm is pretty fun too! It's (much) smaller than the old comm so everyone's sort of closer I guess (: We'll work hard together to make history okay! Smallest comm in history :/ Let's go! :D

Also, have been in a fairly good mood recently. Maybe me vocalising my thoughts are more beneficial than bottling them all up. Just kept feeling like the burden on my shoulders are gone :D It makes my mood lighter too. Really gonna cherish those around me now, cus it suddenly struck me that the term is ending soon, and next term will surely pass by super quickly, then it'll be OUR turn to take the A level exams. (: But nevertheless, a great thank you goes out to you awesome people out there (especially my classmates, who are annoying but a super fun bunch!). Whatever it is, I hope this mood continues (:

If music be the food of love, play on.

- Shakespeare

Oh, and I won't be updating much in near future, since promotional exams are coming up. To all my dearies back home, all the best for SPM! :D Jiayou jiayou jiayou! See you after your SPM (and my OCIP trip!). So many things happening after promos ;D so to-do-list for now?
(1) Stay alive and mug D:
(2) Survive promos :D

**edited** On the side note, felt pretty left out when I think about things that have happened. But it's my own fault that I expected them to still treat me as part of them, since I've chosen to part with them. Just saying. Really miss them though, doubt if they feel the same way. Oh well. Move on, zherms, move on, though there are things that I wished I could have clung onto. Move on, life's no longer the same, and as much as you want to, you can never go back to those days, ever again.

Love,

Wondering to myself, what do I mean to you?

Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops

2011-08-13T17:56:00.006+08:00

Mood: ):
Music: Reflection - Christina Aguilera

It's not everyday that a complete stranger comes up to you and analyses your personality. It's pretty accurate, I must say. I'm not disappointed because I'm a terrible person, or anything - there are good things that I saw. But I really am disappointed because I am becoming what I fear to be - confused. I am unsure of what I want in life. I used to be. I cannot manage stress. I used to be able to do so. I let my emotions get the better of me (despite not showing my emotions). I used to be so calm and composed. And I put others above me, sometimes too much. Maybe. I don't know. And I have low self esteem? I used to be so confident in the things I do.

So the suggestion given to me is to think (and to go for problem management courses but I think that's irrelevant). Think everything through, not like I haven't done so. That's what's making me frustrated. What I used to know about myself, *poof* gone in a day (5 minutes, to be exact). Frustrated because I don't know what's holding me back. Frustrated because I don't understand myself. Frustrated because I don't know the exact root cause of my frustration.

I've always thought that I'm a happy-go-lucky person. And it suddenly struck me today that I'm not. I know I have been changing a lot. But I can't seem to recognize myself. Not anymore.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world; not even our troubles.

- Charlie Chaplin

I cannot let my weaknesses get the better of me. THINK, ZHERMIN, THINK.

Love,

#4

2011-08-08T17:30:00.005+08:00

Mood: \:
Music: Next to You - Jordin Sparks
Music: If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

I suck. I seriously suck as a friend.

I've completely ignored my friends' emotions, I realised. Sometimes people may look happy and bubbly on the outside but I realised that I haven't been observing closely enough to know whether or not they are okay. Sometimes even, I know they are not really okay, but I don't do anything. I simply think that they will be fine eventually, or they might need their own privacy, but never have I thought that they too, might need a shoulder to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, or a person to listen to them. Just as how I felt at times last year. It's not easy to have heart-to-heart talks with me, because maybe I hear, but I don't listen hard enough. Cliche, but somewhat true I suppose. I like good listeners, cos sometimes I have so much to say, but have I ever listened to someone who might need me? I've always been accusing my brother for living in the past too much but I guess I'm nowhere better. I suppose I tend to let the present pass me by, secretly hoping that each day will pass by quickly, but what I really want is to wind the clock back to the carefree days I once lived.

Another point is that I'm selfish. I want to know what's going on in other people's minds but I'm reluctant to share what I think. I don't like sharing my emotions. Because I'm afraid of what people would think. I'm afraid that people would judge me. Sometimes I may strike others at the outgoing, extremely talkative extrovert, maybe that's nothing but a facade because I really don't want others to know what I'm really thinking? I know my good friends wouldn't judge me. I know my family wouldn't judge me, but I don't know how to open up to people about some issues sometimes. Talking to Jiaqi yesterday was like letting go a burden on my shoulders. It was nice. So like it or not, I need to try to take the initiative and talk to my friends about what's going on in my mind. But how?

Easier said than done.

Love,

I'M A SURVIVOR!

2011-08-01T16:19:00.001+08:00

Okay hi, sorry for the hiatus. I was down with fever and diarrhoea one fine day (last Thursday).
The story goes like this:
During econs ILP presentation, my stomach became super painful, so after that I went to the toilet then I realize I have diarrhoea. After econs was Bio tutorial. I felt super super cold in the classroom, abnormally cold. After school I had to wait for my OCIP trip interview so I couldn't go back yet, it was 1.30pm. Sitting at the class bench, the wind felt super cool too. I started having a splitting headache so I napped while Wan Xin was doing the group's Bio AA Presentation beside me (Thanks Wan Xin!). At 5 plus finally it was my turn for the interview. I hope I didn't screw up, because I really wasn't thinking straight; I was trying so hard to pull myself together. Right after that I went to the clinic immediately. The bus journey there took forever. I was so paranoid and afraid that I'll faint any moment. Anyway I made it to the clinic in BTP, and the nurse took my temperature: 38.4ºC. The doctor said I came too late for him to do a blood test, so if I was still having fever the next day, I'd have to go back and have my blood tested. And i got an MC so I didn't go to school on Friday.

AND NOW MY DIARRHEA IS (almost) OVER!! Happy happy happy. Glad that this 'war' is over. After ~~slacking~~ resting throughout the whole weekend, it's time to catch up on work :/ Thanks to those who wished me GWS, and roommate who's super naggy :P and thanks mum and dad for the phone calls (to nag + remind me to eat my medicine + to keep me entertained). TEEHEE.

Love,

#3

2011-07-27T19:26:00.004+08:00

Mood: (?)
Music: Truly Deeply Madly - Savage Garden

You know, when you were young, you seem to only have one emotion at any point in time. When you're happy, you're just happy. When you're mad, you're mad. When you're sad, you're sad. It's hard to hide your emotions. Or rather, there is no need for you to hide your emotions.

But there comes a time when you emotions all just jumble up into a ball of feelings. You seem so numb, you're not even sure what and how you're feeling. In a period of a few hours, you can feel happy yet sad. You learn how to hide how you feel. Even if you dig into the ball of emotions, you can find strands of anger knotted together with strands of happiness. Joyful memories are merged with sad painful ones.

So at the end of the day, what exactly am I feeling right now? I don't know, I really don't.

Love,

Bless my lucky stars (:

2011-07-20T21:11:00.004+08:00

Mood: o_o
Music: Cry on My Shoulder - Deutschland sucht den Superstar

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
- Darrel Royal

Am really really happy that I've met the requirement for my scholarship renewal, but honestly I think I can do better, really. I was so close to failing GP and I really need to improve my comprehension skills D: worried but I hope everything'll be better eventually. Hopefully. I need to put in more effort to improve my skills. I may not be that lucky the next time.

Proud of my friends who've also made the requirement! Keep up the good work guys! (:

There were just so many things that happened this week. Theodora said that my battery is really flat already. I don't really know, I really feel tired but I have been living a normal life? As in, enough sleep and enough food but still feeling somewhat down, without a reason. Just feeling like there's something missing. I need something to fill in the emptiness I'm feeling now. I need a sparkle factor to keep me going till the end of the week, the end of the term, and the end of the year. Or maybe I'm just simply feeling homesick.

And I need to constantly remind myself not to be such a gossip. But how?! Sometimes people around me can be so annoying that I really feeling like smacking them in the face. I'm tired. Must find inner peace (Kungfu panda). And I need to stop thinking too much of what people think. There will definitely be haters, but ultimately its up to me to decide how I want to live my life. Most importantly, I need to stop minding other people's businesses. How they want to live their life is essentially up to them. I have nothing to say.

It's just... I'm so tired. Tired of always taking care of myself and not allowing myself to make mistakes. I need to be more forgiving, to others and to myself as well. I don't know. Hopefully everything will be alright. It will be, right?

Love,

**edited** Came across this quote just a moment ago, and yes, exactly how I feel! Maybe I have been long forgotten by those that I used to and still care about, but I don't have the chance to really be there for them.

Memories were fine but you couldn’t touch them, smell them or hold them. They were never exactly as the moment was, and they faded with time.
- Cecilia Ahern

School Life!

2011-07-18T18:14:00.007+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

HELLO HELLO! It has been a while since the las proper update. Anyway, I've been in HC for half a year now, but I haven't posted any photos about school life so here goes. My class is 11S70, we take BCME/BCM KI/KI CME. 3 different combinations, one class :)
Photo credits to my friend here, Shalom!

A few weeks ago we had our class GEMS, where we have to do something/learn a new skill as a class! So PAINTBALL!! There were a few absentees though ): Our class tutor was also absent because he had an eye surgery. We played paintball at Khatib. It wasn't cheap, but definitely a once in a lifetime experience. Priscilla also "won" the title of Bobo (Quote: Nicer way to say 'Jialat ahh!') because she accidentally shot the person in charge (twice). Getting shot by the ball was quite painful actually, and hence we had to wear vests and masks to protect our faces and bodies.
Class photo!

The gun was quite heavy, actually

Last weekend I volunteered for a CIP project with ZhenMay! Quite happy to help raise funds for Mercy Relief. We sold vouchers as well as collected donations. There were people giving out free 100plus as well and we drank at least 4 cups :P But anyways, it was a meaningful day! :D
with Sherlyn

*******************

I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you, you to just desert me.
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me,
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables.

Love,
!

Who died and made you king of anything!

2011-07-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

-Sara Bareilles, King of Anything

The more we get together, the merrier we'll be (:

2011-07-12T17:15:00.003+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Stop and Stare - One Republic

Went to Nex with ex-roomie Quynh Huong last weekend for dinner! It was great seeing her! As usual we took a lot of retarded photos. The B405-style! Nothing extraordinary happened except for all the pretty photos (:

Had a very early dinner at Swensens
B405 (:

After dinner, we went to the rooftop sky garden to talk and catch up, not to mention camwhore. Thanks to her awesome iPhone app, we took a lot of pretty photos which really reminded me of all the retarded fun times we had in nygbs last year (:

Miss you and love you loads, buddy! All the best in RJ yeahh! (:

Love,

#2

2011-07-12T16:57:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I really don't understand why I dislike her so much. Isn't it rather childish? All the backstabbing and gossiping didn't make me a better person, that's for sure. So why do I even bother wasting my time and energy talking about her? Do you have any empathy, any at all? I may not be able to tolerate her attitude or behaviour or the way she carries herself but promise me, Zher Min, the least you can do is to leave her alone. Everyone has their own struggles and they have a choice about how they want to lead their life. Defaming her like this does not make you any different from her. Please, be a nicer person. Perhaps I don't regard her as a friend, but I ought to treat my acquaintances with a little more respect. It's hard, but I'll try (:

Love,

2011-07-11T17:30:00.002+08:00

"Maaf! Anda tidak terpilih untuk menyertai PLKN Siri 9/2012. Terima kasih."

Thank you thank you thank you!!

Days as a tourist (:

2011-07-07T19:34:00.010+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Hug - 동방신기

Scholars' outing to Marina Bay Sands Arts and Science Museum and DUKW (Pronounced 'duck') tours yesterday! :D We were encouraged to bring local friends along so I brought Shalom, and Hui Xian, since Theodora's going with Aliwong (: But Shalom got gastritis and couldn't go ): Jessie brought Alitai too! But anyways, I really felt like a tourist in Singapore again :D

First stop - the Arts and Science Museum!
Amazing and unique architecture - sort of resembling a hand, with 10 fingers (taken on the duck tour)

There were a few exhibitions in the museum, including Van Gogh Alive, Belitung shipwreck artifacts, Salvador Dali's works, and another general one.
Van Gogh Alive...

Starry Starry Night, one of Van Gogh's most famous paintings.

The exhibition was an interactive one, with visuals and sounds and stuff, which was quite interesting actually. Oh and did you know that Van Gogh only became famous after he died? He only sold 1 piece of artwork when he was alive. And, a few of his most wonderful paintings were produced when he was staying in an asylum.

The next exhibition was one on the artifacts recovered from the Belitung shipwreck. There were a lot of gold artifacts and also ceramics from China. The collection was really impressive, albeit the atmosphere being quite eerie haha.

Then we went to the 4th floor to look at the general exhibition, talking about how arts influenced science
Buckyball C60! I will remember this forever, cos I got it wrong for the recent Chemistry blocks.

Then there was another exhibition: Dali - entering the mind of a genius (or something like that). Only thought about Salvador Dali: he is really really an eccentric guy. He's signature was inspired by the milk liquid crown. His works really challenged the norm.

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.
-Salvador Dali

melting clock, one of his famous works

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.
-Salvador Dali

After the museum tour, it's the ducktour! The dukw vehicle is an amphibious vehicle built during the WW(II) to transport stuff on land as well as on water. The photos show some scenery that we saw along the tour.

the skyline (:

Aliwong and Theodora!

And we passed by the Merlion park too!

The helix bridge!

group photo on the dukw vehicle

Went back to the tourist center, at the foot of Singapore flyer to have dinner. I had Subway with Hui Xian, Zhen May, Fel and Zi Yi. Shared a foot long with Zhen May, it was good! (:One day I wanna come here! Pretty pretty (:

Had fun on the bus back to boarding school together with Hui Xian and Theodora too! (: Had fun counting how many bus stops Theodora missed (; The trip was tiring, but fun and definitely worth it! :D

Love,

One day, we'll look back and smile :)

2011-07-02T10:55:00.004+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Jason Mraz

Celebrated Fel and Ali's birthday yesterday, after watching a movie with batchies, sort of a post-blocks destressing activity? (:

The birthday girls!
Alicia!

Felicia!

It's always fun to talk to my batchmates, who come out with weird ideas and lame jokes all the time. Our other batchmates that were from high school kept complaining that we're childish, noisy and/or ugly. But seriously, who cares? As long as we have fun, nothing else matters (:

Wanting to take a full photo was really really agonising. All thanks to all our craziness last night. I set my camera on top of the TV and we used self-timer to take the photos.

Take 1: Fail, all thanks to me and Bishy (oops)

Take 2: Still fail

Take 3: Can't say that we've succeeded - all thanks to XinYung's Angry Birds addiction. But still, I think it's the best photo we have that day.

Thanks guys, it was lovely talking to all of you and having fun with you all. I had an awesome time, and Felicia and Aliwong - hope you like your presents! (Alicia: I know you'll love your present, yeah? ^^)

Love,

Liberté!

2011-07-01T19:05:00.004+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: Misery - Maroon 5

Blocks are over!!

Hello! Finally my misery is over. But I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks, when we get our results back. Kinda agree with Shalom, she pointed out that we only have a month to play before starting to prepare for promos (PROMOS!! /DIE).

Anyway, this process of mugging, mugging and mugging is really killing me. I haven't really stepped out of the school compound since 20 June till 30 June (yesterday). So proud of myself (?!) but on the side note, I should get a ~~live~~ life. Went out for Ding Tai Fung at City Hall with dad and Yin just now :D nomnomnom. Happy tummy happy me! Perhaps everything was going well... until I returned to the miserably tiny room of mine. Then, well, the same usual stuff happened.

I think I have anger management issues. Or it might just be PMS.

Okay. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
Movie marathon with batchies later! And either Gong Cha or Koi tomorrow with Bishy! ♥ Feels like the holidays once again! I am freeeee! (For now).

On the side note, dun u find it irritatin dat ppl type lyk dis orhzxz. I m enjoyin facebook less n less each day bcos of dis. lyk, "u sucks!" (?!) or "y u lyk dis ehhxz". it rlly mk me uncomfortable c-ing things lyk dis. So annoying I tink I ll jz dai. xoxo.
Come on. What happened to good ol' English with good ol' grammar. I mean, I don't expect you to type out every single word perfectly, but at least 60% of normal spelling please?

Love,

#1

2011-06-23T23:07:00.006+08:00

Mood: ):
Music: Perfect - Simple Plan

In your eyes, I'm always that annoying little kid that fails in everything. I can do nothing right. I'll never be good enough. Not for you, that is. I've had enough of your bossy attitude and how you think you know everything. Not sure why I even care so much in the first place. I never even have a place in your heart. Time passed and I know people change. I've put in a lot of effort trying to get to know the new you, hoping that one day you'll see me in a different light. But no, I'm still that irritating brat that is a just a hindrance to your life. You think I'm childish? So what, it's not like you're super mature or anything. You think I'm bad? So what, we'll see how good you are.

Truth be told: I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

So. Nope, I'm not apologizing. I'm not saying who. I'm not pointing fingers. I'll just hide in your shadows, in my own corner, where I don't have to worry about you and what you think. Just me and the things I want to think about. So next time you have a problem, solve it yourself. You can't change who I am. And I'm not going to change for you either. And I'll stop trying to be an ideal person in your eyes. I have better things to worry about.

Cheers

Rolling in the Deep

2011-06-23T15:56:00.002+08:00

***************

4 days till blocks! All the best to everyone!

Day out with extremely old buddies! (:

2011-06-19T00:26:00.004+08:00

Mood: :')
Music: Don't You Wanna Stay - Jason Aldean (ft. Kelly Clarkson)

E

HL

KH

SH

Yours truly

It has really really been a while since I've seen my old buds ♥ Especially KH - haven't seen her for A YEAR, cos she had chicken pox last holiday. Well, but she's still the same. Still fun to talk to, still cracks really lame jokes, still the same person who thinks that she's damn cool (well, she wasn't, but she is now), still the same narcissist, still the same high pitched voice (: I still can't believe that she's really an item of adoration and eye-candying in school (lolcoughcoughcough).YOU AWE-FULL FRIEND ^^

AND YOU! Y u make me feel old in this photo! Bleh. Can you believe that she's the oldest among us all! She even drives to school every day now. The only one amongst us that can drive legally. You you you. After 10 years I bet you still look the same. And I bet next year the ticket person would suspect that you have fake ID when you take out your IC to show that you're already 18 when we go watch a PG13 movie. Just saying (:

And to the birthday girl: hope you like your present! It was really really a last minute one xD But thanks so much for helping me ask the others out every time i come back. It's like, you're the event organiser ^^ For your 17th birthday right, well, it's time to grow up, although none of us want to. If you need anything, anything at all, you know I'm just a tweet/IM/email/facebook message/text/phone call away. Jiayou for everything dearest! (: Love you banyak banyak!
Happy birthday to Eumiang, happy birthday to you! ♥

Well, meeting up with them was just plain awesome. We ~~gossiped~~ talked about... stuff. Lots of stuff. School, acads, future, lame jokes, books, music, angry birds, phones, families etc. And I had a good time (: I know you guys did too!

Without Eileen ): We really need a complete photo ABCDEFG

Photo credits: Eileen, more details here.

Love,

ps: I need to start chionging holiday homework (I & I!!) and EoM (oh dai.) and start mugging for blocks (omg one more week. Math fail. Dai.)

Laughter's the best medicine (:

2011-06-17T00:46:00.003+08:00

I am still very amazed by this video, after watching it for almost the whole afternoon. Thanks to my brother. Tip: press 3 and 4 repeatedly for entertainment.

***************

You may not be the best out there but you're perfect in your own ways (:

Just a message to everyone out there that feels useless/lonely/worthless now. Never give up hope! ~~Even if blocks are less than 10 days away and I still haven't really started revision. Revision schedule screwed up.~~ TEEHEE.

Anyway, started using Tumblr - it's quite fun reblogging stuff and there are really damn cool internet memes there :D

Coming up!
17/6 - Chendol! and family dinner 8)
18/6 - ~~Hiking~~ GDO with old friends :')
19/6 - Gonna see my beloved cousin chelsea!
20/6 - Heading back to Singapore

AHH my days left here are numbered ):

Love,

2011-06-12T11:48:00.003+08:00

Dream as if you'll live forever
Live as if you'll die tomorrow.

The Winner Takes It All

2011-06-05T10:31:00.004+08:00

I don't wanna talk about the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me, now it's history
I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say, no more ace to play

The winner takes it all, the loser standing small
Beside the victory, that's her destiny

I was in your arms thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense, building me a fence
Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool playing by the rules

The Gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here loses someone dear
The winner takes it all; the loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain?

Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you
But what can I say? Rules must be obeyed.

The judges will decide, the likes of me abide
Spectators of the show always staying low
The game is on again: a lover or a friend?
A big thing or a small, the winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad
And I understand you've come to shake my hand
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence
But you see: The winner takes it all

After a hurricane, comes a rainbow!

2011-05-30T15:38:00.006+08:00

Mood: :')
Music: Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer

First and foremost,Happy holidays!!

The past week has seriously been the most hectic week so far! So many things to do but so little time! But still, after the long long long week, I now have nothing to do (Well, I do have holiday homework to do, but yes, I'll give myself a little break for now!) :D It's true that with a little perseverance, all troubles will just melt away (:

So, holidays holidays holidays :D I'm going home next week! Sometimes it feels like it's still a long way to go! Can't wait! Really regretted not going back during the March term break. Miss hanging out with my friends and miss having family dinners (: Mum promised to teach me how to bake and make muffins this holiday! It's kinda cool I suppose, I wanna learn how to bake cupcakes♥! And ooh, I'll definitely still spam chocolates when I go back! Thinking of visiting Straits Quay again, and maybe National Park :D Time is passing so slowly! But good thing that GEL lessons are quite fun these days, we had a different teacher :D

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder...

And last Friday (L'arc-en-ciel day!) was Be Yourself Day! Okay, we didn't really "be ourselves", more like be "someone that we used to be" - we decided to wear our old secondary school uniform! Of course, I didn't wear the full NY uniform, but I wore the NYSE tee and NY skirt instead (: And we realise that 11S70 is really a good mix of O level students and IP students, which is in my opinion, quite a good thing, since we all learnt in different environments and we have different perspectives, which makes debating with one another so fun!
Priscilla (SNGS), Shalom (Cedar), Elena (Cresent) and Zher Min (Nanyang), need I say more? :D

Love,

L'arc-en-ciel! ♥

2011-05-28T13:57:00.010+08:00

Mood: :DD
Music: Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence - Ryuichi Sakamoto

Had the last concert with the J2 batch/2011 yesterday! L'arc-en-ciel was awesome! I'm sure the audience yesterday enjoyed the concert. And HCSE really enjoyed the performing too! I will definitely miss the J2s a lot ): They have really really put in so much effort in the ensemble and guided us along the way. Thanks for everything, seniors!

So our repertoire was

1. Theme from Superman (John Williams)
2. Palladio (Karl Jenkins)
3. Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence (Ryuichi Sakamoto)
4. Nocturne from Secret Garden (Rolf Løvland)
5. Victory (Bond)
- Intermission -
6. Suite for String Orchestra (Leos Janáček)
7. Introduction and Allegro for Strings Op. 47 (Edward Elgar)
8. You Raise Me Up (Rolf Løvland)

And not to mention our super awesome encore piece, Fever Theme from Dr Mario! I really enjoyed this concert despite it being only in LT3 - the stage was very small and I didn't really have space. But the ensemble was really playing as one. The violins, the violas, the cellos, the basses. I will never forget this wonderful yet tough journey with the seniors. From February concert Concertante to SYF (Gold With Honours!) to May concert L'arc-en-ciel, I am sure that all of us have learnt from each other in one way or another.

So... photos!
TANHUIXIAN!

I just realise that our surnames are all Tan.

Haha retarded Aaron! :D

with dear Kailin! (:

JOAN! I will miss you SL! ):

Finally a decent photo with my brother ;D

Right, and a big thank you goes out to my ever-supporting classmates too! Thank you Shalom and Theodora for buying tickets and giving me a surprise by telling me that you're coming only 7 hours before the concert! (: and thank you for that pink teruterubozu that you bought for me! :D I'll forgive you people for sleeping during the classical pieces (;
Thank you my dear 11S70 classmates for coming!

Kar Jun! :)

Thanks Kar Jun, Wan Fen and Xin Ning for coming!

Zher Min, Prisca, Chia Wei, Joan; NYSE violists ♥

One big viola family (;

Congning's missing :/

And all the photo-bombers!
It's funny how a photo with initially 2 people had 7 people in it in the end xD

Last but not least, the publicity committee! Thanks Alvin for always helping us when we are in doubt and Edward, for tanking so many things (paiseh!). Sorry for having to stay back really late in school one day before concert but yes, we did it! The decoration was beautiful! And lucky it didn't drop in the middle of concert *phew*!
Yours truly, the most awesome publicity committee ever!

Love,

You again?!

2011-05-22T14:45:00.004+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: 国境之南 - 范逸臣

It's kinda amazing how I always get to see Kar Jun at places that I least expected to see her. I saw her yesterday at a strings concert haha. And it's really fate that brought us together in PCGHS and now in Singapore (: haha it was great seeing you, dear! Hopefully we can meet up during the holidays to catch up and talk! I haven't really talked to you in ages! Haha lucky that you're still in one piece :D See you again soon okay (;

Love,

When you make new friends, don't forget your old ones too.

2011-05-20T12:59:00.004+08:00

Mood: :)
Music: Time of Your Life - Green Day
Music: Get It Right - Lea Michele (Glee Cast)

Yesterday (19 May) as the 11th Boarders' Council Investiture, Fantasia. The JCRC'11 of NYGBS were invited to join the event as well :D It was awesome seeing wonderful friends like Hooi Choo, Fabian, Ha Nhu, Prisca and many more! It was a pity that I couldn't take photos with all of them ):

Love you, twinnie! ♥

JESSIE TEE!

Naturally, the few of us weren't paying attention to all the performance, since we went late and had to sit at a secluded corner. But Jiayan sung well (as always)! (: ZhenMay was completing her Sudoku puzzle, Felicia was using her laptop while Nani, Alicia, Jessie and I were playing Monopoly Deal (hehs)! Somehow I was super hungry that night. I ate two plates of potato salad, a bowl of cream of mushroom soup, a plate of chicken chop and mashed potatoes, and mango pudding. And guess what, I was still hungry. Zher Yin was jealous that I inherited the "pro" genes. Haha life's good 8)

Fabian!

Hooi Choo!

Wonderful batchmates! ♥

Xin Yung, Jessie, Hooi Choo, Zhen May, Zher Min and Fabian!

Awesome people! :D

Patricia, Zher Min, Hooi Choo, Xiang Chuin, Li Qi, Wandong, Soo Chin and Xin Yung

Love,

Heart-to-heart talks

2011-05-16T21:36:00.010+08:00

Mood: :')
Music: Little House - Amanda Seyfried
Music: Misery - Maroon 5

Wasn't really in a good mood recently, mainly because I'm feeling really pressed for time. Yet, I couldn't stop procrastinating. Just realised that we only have 7 days more of formal lessons and then it's the holidays! Right after 4 weeks of the holidays then it's block tests already! ): After which, there are not really much time till promos (PROMOSSSS!!) and the end of C1.

Had a long talk with mum last night (25 minutes! hehs!). Laughed at the way she's so excited about the holidays too, just like a little girl waiting for a Christmas present HAHA. She was telling me what she had "in store" for me when I come back, then i was like , no shit, please no tuition. And to my surprise, she went, "Oh! I'm going to teach you how to bake! Chiffon cakes and cream puffs! :D" I was rather shock. (ZhenMay said, "Whoa, she's not afraid that you'll blow the entire kitchen up!") RAWR ZHENMAY!

Had another long talk with ZhenMay also. I realise how silly all of us were in secondary school. All the attention seekers, and the weird "gangs". Ridiculous labels that we put on people. I know that we still act rather immaturely at times, like giving people weird nicknames, gossiping and laughing at people, kicking people (well, not applicable to me) and other funny stuff. Maybe one day I'll look back at today, and wonder to myself, why did I do such an absurd thing. Maybe one day I'll look back and realise that I don't have to care about people who are not worth it, waste my saliva and time and effort.

Haha I'm drinking ZhenMay's Koi now! So many pearls! It's so ~~fluffly~~ heavenly I'm gonna die!! Whoohoo! ;DKoi is the loveee!

****************
Right, and before I forget, happy 35th birthday to Wang Lee Hom! The super cool musician who can sing, dance, compose, direct, act, play the piano, violin, er-hu, drums etc. (: Well, age is just a number. I'm sure he's going to continue being as awesome as ever and as talented as ever! :D

Happy birthday to my dear classmate, Shalom too! (;

Love,

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's all but a beautiful mistake. But I'm willing to take the chance...

Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. You can either grow flowers or weeds.

2011-05-14T08:10:00.007+08:00

Mood: (o.o)
Music: Falling Stars - David Archuleta
Music: Half of My Heart - John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift

Combined sports meet (13 May 2011) wasn't a bad one. Enjoyed meeting up with old friends from Nanyang and of course, having nice chats with juniors (: But I suppose the highlight of the day was playing badminton with my classmates, Gui Xian and Jia Min. And a few of the tchoukballers. It's kinda awesome playing badminton for a few hours straight, although it comes with a price = muscle aches the day after. It was worth it, to me (:

After badminton, we showered in school around 4.15pm and left for S70 STJ (Senior Treat Junior). Had a detour to AMK Hub to get Crispy A curry puffs, recommended by Gui Xian. Quotes, "If you haven't eaten their curry puffs, you haven't lived your life!" It was very nice. I loved the crust of the puff! We then proceeded to Yishun via MRT to meet up with the rest of the class. 10S70 (our senior class) treated us (11S70) to Japanese buffet and it was quite nice, thank you seniors!

With Shalom and Theodora (:

MeiShan, Theodora, Sherlyn, Shalom, Elena, ZherMin, Priscilla and WanXin! ♥
I feel so accomplished :D

11S70 ♥

What we did:
1. Played truth or dare.
2. Played contact.
3. Eat.
4. Cook.
5. Laughed.
6. Camwhored.

Elena lost her phone ): She left it in the bathroom. Curse that dishonest idiot who took it. Looking forward to JTS (hopefully attendance would be better too).

**********

Once you start disliking someone, whatever he/she does will annoy the crap out of you.

Love,

I think I'm starting to like you...

Heart Vacancy

2011-05-12T20:09:00.002+08:00

Mood: :/
Music: If It's Love - Train

Is it normal to feel this way? Lost in the middle of the wood, thick grey clouds hovering on top of you. Lost all sense of direction and having absolutely no idea where to go. How did Hansel and Gretel feel when they were lost? At moments of desperation like these, would I run over to the candy house in the middle of the forest? The seemingly perfect house. But who knows what my choices will lead to. What if? What if this was nothing but a beautiful illusion that I immerse myself in, purely because I have no intentions or whatsoever to face reality? I try asking myself, what is this? Why do I feel this way? What should I do next? Or should I not do anything at all? Honestly, I don't know. And I'm tried of trying to figure out the reason(s) behind all this.

On the side note, I didn't fail math (YEAHH!), but I think I'll fail Econs (again). HCNYATFM (In English, Combined Sports Meet (CSM)) is tomorrow! (: But there's Bio make up tutorial and lecture tomorrow. Looking forward to playing badminton with Gui Xian, Shalom and Ben tomorrow afternoon, and of course, 10/11S70 STJ tomorrow! :D Life's good (Well, generally).

Love,

STJ (:

2011-05-10T17:33:00.008+08:00

Mood: :D
Music: When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

Finished Econs ILP! Edited the lyrics of the song Misery by Maroon 5! It was very fun, I think. A big 'thank you' goes out to my group mates! (:

Anyways, yesterday was HCSE STJ (Polling Day -- no school! :D) (: It was very fun, thank you dear seniors! :D The condo was really really pretty and the view was simply breathtaking. Had a great time ~~camwhoring~~ taking photos, and the food was awesome too! Dunking people into the pool was... uhmm... it looks a little scary. But lucky I didn't get dunk the second time after Jiaquan pushed me into the shallow pool (:

Love this photo (:

Other photos are with Xu Yue (taken using her Canon Ixus 105 too!). We have the same cam :D

In the beginning I was a little reluctant to rejoin strings, I wanted to try something new. There are really many super cool CCAs in JC to choose from. But all thanks to my brother I decided to join strings again. It was quite funny how he pulled me all the way from boarding school to LT3 for my very first rehearsal. I really didn't want to go, and I argued with him (and mum), saying that I want to pack and I was tired (excuses, excuses, excuses...). Perhaps I was afraid, cos Kaiyun wasn't there. Things would be so different. But now... regrets = 0. HCSE FTW ♥!

**********
Quoting Eileen:

电话通讯录内可不可以有个专属号码, 至少难过了, 电话另一端有双耳朵听你述故事.

Cheer up, dear! (:

Love,

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take. Could you see how much I need you right now?

Red Carnations.

2011-05-08T08:46:00.006+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Words – Bee Gees

Whenever I think of my mum, I think of a Bette Midler song:

It must’ve been cold there in the shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face,
You were contented to let me shine, that’s your way
You always walk a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long,
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Do you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I would like to be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
You are the wing beneath my wings.

I practically grew up listening to the Beatles and Bee Gees in the back seat of your car, where you would chaperone us around for piano lessons, violin lessons, tuition and more, hoping that we would grow to enjoy the arts and succeed in life eventually. I remembered throwing a tantrum about not wanting to learn piano anymore but you forced me to persevere, with the simple reason that if I can’t find a job in future, I can always turn to teaching piano or music.

As cliché as it may sound, I really couldn’t be grateful enough for the continuous support that you have given me over the years. Remember when I told you I wanted to come to Singapore, you have been very encouraging, accompanying me to the interview. Although dad wasn't exactly very thrilled of me leaving home, you managed to convince him to let me pursue my own dreams (but fair enough, dad was the one who sent me for the selection test).

My temper is not exactly the best in the family (in fact, it’s the exact opposite), and I had many memories where I’d stomp us the stairs and slam the door really, really hard, in fact I think I still do that occasionally (oops), and I suppose that’s something that I feel remorseful about. I can’t even remember what the things that made me so angry were, but I can only say that they are just trivial things that I shouldn’t be mad about anyway. Just want to say that I’m extremely sorry for all that.

The last time I saw you, was in February, at least 2 months ago, and I wouldn’t count my last visit as a very heartwarming reunion either. 3 days is simply too short a period. So I’m looking forward to the June term break, where I can spend 2 weeks with you (:Till then… I just wanna say:

Happy Mothers’ Day.

And remember, I love you (;

Love,
:D

Stop putting labels on me.

2011-05-04T20:37:00.004+08:00

I make mistakes at times. Does that make me irresponsible?
I gossip at times. Does that make me a bitch?
I crack lame jokes. Does that make me weird?
I slip at times. Does that make me careless?
I laugh at times. Does that make me mean?
I cry at times. Does that make me weak?
I talk too loudly at times. Does that make me rude?
I can be anal at times. Does that make me a perfectionist?
I moan at times. Does that make me whiny?
I fail at times. Does that make me a loser?

The point is, no one's perfect. So stop judging me if you don't know me.

Love,

2011-05-02T14:48:00.000+08:00

"Let's leave the past, is that too much to ask?"

2011-05-01T09:38:00.003+08:00

Mood: (:
Music: Palladio - Escala (Karl Jenkins)

Sometimes, waking up in the morning is just so hard. Waking up to this familiar yet unfamiliar place, this place which is merely a house but not a home... Kept asking myself why did I even bother? It's kinda hard imagining how life back there is, but still, life there still goes on, whether or not I'm there. I have to stop imagining that my friends will be thinking of me every single step of their way, cos face it - memories fade, and they have their own lives too. It's a truth that's hard to accept, but eventually I'll learn how to. Maybe to them I'm the one who've swayed away and stop thinking about them, considering what I say, what I do, are unrelated to them. So yeah, at the end of the day, I was just wondering if you still think of me as one of you...

知人知面知己知彼又知心
古人说这就是所谓知音
相知相惜相亲相爱也相忆
朋友你会不会常把我想起
何年何月何日何时再相聚
何时能把酒言欢畅回忆
很多很多很深很深的回忆
很多歌我只想要为你唱起

Love,

GWH!

2011-04-30T08:07:00.008+08:00

28042011. RPCC. 50 hearts together, beating as one.

GOLD WITH HONOURS!

Thank you HCSE for everything! I'm glad that we had fun performing and we really enjoyed ourselves on stage. We've put in our heart and soul and we did our very best (: so yes, ~~good~~ great job, guys! I'm so proud of HCSE and also NYSE (GWH too!) :D

When words fail, our music speaks

Next up: CONCERT L'ARC-EN-CIEL!!
(Just gotten new scores for concert, the repertoire is super nice :D but super hard. HEH must practice!)

PS: And now I have Elegy and Polka (still) stuck in my head (:

The last 100 meters!

2011-04-27T19:15:00.004+08:00

After months of intense practice and hard work, the big day is finally here!
HCSE all the way! We can do it! (:

Love,

It's (Good) Friday Friday!

2011-04-22T07:56:00.009+08:00

Mood: Whoosh! (:
Music: What are Words - Chris Medina

Good Morning!
No school today! Although it's a Friday (: But there are just so many things are happening this week/weekend. Like I have ascom meeting (Oops. I'm supposed to leave now), PW group discussion in the afternoon and dinner with QH later! Going to Plaza Singapura 2 times in a day ._. and 6 days to SYF! Go go go!

(And I have to shop for a swimsuit for swimming lesson on Monday -.-)

This term is passing fast, way TOO fast. If only I have 48 hours in a day. Or if only time could slow down a little.

On the side note, this song is super touching (;

And, did I mention, Gong Cha is super nice ♥ Had gongcha with Beishh! after meeting this morning. And painstakingly waited for quite sometime... cos gongcha doesn't open until 11am. Treated myself to Marks & Spencer chocolates, which are really, really heavenly too, by the way, and really enjoyed the Milk Green Tea gongcha! That one hour we waited was definitely worth it! 8D

Okay, back to Chem.

Love,

#Pissed

2011-04-20T20:43:00.007+08:00

Mood: Very, very pissed.
Music: Misery - Maroon 5
Music: Explosive - Bond

Was rather pissed at someone today, for her inflexibility in settling stuff. And I don't like the way she talked to me. You may be older than me by a lot (10 years?), but not necessarily more mature and you ought to be more experienced in admin stuff, so act like one. But that doesn't give you a right to judge me, or think of me lowly, not that I want you to think of me highly or anything. But please, at the very least, show some basic respect: do not talk to me in this authoritarian way. I don't like it. But still, I blame myself for being weak and not speaking up like I should have. Half an hour more till I make things right (:

Faith.

I hear the tickin' of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?

*edited* OH LIKE JUST NOW I WASN'T PISSED ENOUGH. The reason behind what she did is so that she can cover her ass and not get into trouble should anything happen. Forget it, I've just wasted my saliva and time trying to talk to you and sort things out and cos you are just so afraid of your boss. To hell with hierarchy. This sucks.

Love,

But the secret is still my own, and my love for you is still unknown...